


Haunted by the Memories

by QuantumChickpea



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrinette, Aged Up, Angst, Baking, Depression, Engaged, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Healing, Hope, Hurt and comfort, ImBreakingRules, Journaling, Love, Making Love, Memories, NotEverytingIsHowItSeems, Overdose, Pills, Postreveal, Romance, Sex, Suicidalthoughts, Suicide Attempt, Survived, Therapy, adrienette - Freeform, braininjury, gettingbetter, lifealteringinjuries, marchchallenge, nightterrors, plotwithporn, postreveal2021, suicideattempts, unconditionallove, we all know me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:09:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 33,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29811687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuantumChickpea/pseuds/QuantumChickpea
Summary: After Adrien found out about his father being Hawk Moth, he had a hard time dealing with it.  Marinette had been devastated when she had found him passed out, thinking that he wasn't alive anymore, that is until he came back. But despite all of the challenges that Adrien now faced, she never stopped loving him. And through Emma, her, and his many doctor's appointments with the support of Nino and Alya, Adrien gets better one step at a time.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 85
Kudos: 102





	1. Endings

**Author's Note:**

> **Don't attack me. XD I was feeling like writing angst for the last few days and saw this and went I'm gonna do it. It gets a happy ending. But I won't lie and say that this isn't sad. But it'll be okay. Promise. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. In all of it's ups and downs. ^-^**

Marinette sat at Adrien’s desk with her journal open in their quaint apartment. Used tissues and various items of Adrien’s sat around her like she hadn’t cleaned up in several days and had clearly been admiring them. Their room was dark other than a single soft lit desk lamp. She liked it that way. Her friends had tried to get her to go out after the unmasking of Hawk Moth and the attempted suicide of Adrien Agreste, her fiancé and soulmate. How he had chosen to try and run farther than Chat Noir could take him.

She tapped her pen against her journal page, bare and vast like the pain she felt in her chest. Empty and soulless. She hadn’t yet gotten the courage to breathe life into the dusty pages, but she knew she had to. Her therapist had told her it would be a great idea. So, she had rushed to get a journal on the way home and had grabbed one of Adrien’s fancy pens just for the occasion. A black pen that reminded her of Adrien each time she caressed its smooth sides to write.

She sighed, stared at the uncommunicative man on the couch with the television going. He was sitting with his hands in his lap and a blank expression on his face. She often wondered what was going on in his head. He raised his hands and peered at them before getting up and heading from the room. She threw her pen down and raced after him, blowing past their daughter, who was busily playing in her room.

She found him in the kitchen with a sharp knife in his hand and his arm on the table. She quickly grabbed his wrist and squeezed hard, making him drop the knife onto the counter. She spun him around and looked into his soulless, dull, green eyes.

“Adrien?” She watched some form of clarify come over him as he flashed a glance back at her. “Adrien.”

“Hm?” It was the common sound that passed his lips because all others failed him.

“Please. Not today. I’m tired. Not today.” Marinette knew better than to call him kitty or Chaton or any form of endearment that revolved around Chat Noir. She swallowed hard and watched him go to reach for the blade again and she yanked him back with all of her weight. “No! It’s not worth it!”

“Daddy? Daddy!” Emma stepped into the kitchen and Marinette took the moment that Adrien turned to his daughter to hide the knives from him.

Marinette tried to catch her breath as it sped up with the panic in her chest. This was the thirtieth suicide attempt since she had found him. The thirtieth time that she had to run and stop him from doing something to end it. Her fingers itched to write in the empty journal, but she couldn’t with him awake.

She watched him pick up their daughter and have to lean against the counter for balance. There had been repercussions from what he had done. Things he had to live with now, and she had to make work because she loved him. She loved him regardless of how hard it was every day. How she had to watch him 24/7. How she drove him to doctors’ appointments after doctors’ appointments to try and help him.

Once Adrien settled back down on the couch with Emma beside him, she went back to her journal and began to write. As long as she tried, that was what mattered.

* * *

_I remember the morning I found him. I had woken up and made us breakfast as I normally would. I had gone into the bedroom to tell him that breakfast was ready, his favorite too. But I had found the room empty. I noticed the bathroom was ajar and had gone inside with a smile, thinking he must have been taking a bath. That usually calmed him down on his bad days since finding out about everything._

_It wasn’t what you wanted to find. Even now, the image of him passed out in the tub with a bottle of pills dropped from his hand with tiny white capsules spilled across the tile floor haunts me. The memory of his blue lips and the way he seemed to be asleep with his arm stretched over the edge and his hand limp like he was reaching out for me and I had failed. I had failed to save him. I had failed in so many ways._

_I had fallen to my knees beside him and had taken his cold hand in mine. It felt like ice and as I brought it to my cheek and sobbed, it only made everything more real. I don’t know how long I sat there with him, brushing his hair behind his ear and staring at his saddened face. Tears still wetting his cheeks like I had been seconds too late. I should have checked on him sooner. I should have told him to help me make croissants and coffee. I should have- it wouldn’t have mattered. You can’t save someone that doesn’t want to be saved._

* * *

The cold reality of those words hit her hard and a sob trespassed from between her lips like his father’s iron gates. She burst into tears and covered her eyes as the pain and turmoil settled into her throat, heart, and stomach. A part of her had thought it to be easier to take her own life, but she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t do that to their daughter. That was one thing she was grateful for. That her parents had chosen to watch Emma for them the night before to give them a date night. But how do you explain to your three-year-old that their daddy wasn’t going to be the same and why? It had been hard. The hardest thing that she had ever had to do was explain that to her.

Marinette cursed beneath her breath and wiped her tears, glancing to make sure Adrien was still on the couch with Emma before going back to writing.

* * *

_I ended up calling an ambulance. That was the most my fingers could do. I don’t even remember opening the door for them. I think they ended up breaking in and finding me in the tub with him. I remember I was hugging him, grasping at any warmth or life left in his body. My white dress was soaked, and I hadn’t cared. I think I had begged them to take me too. To end it. That I couldn’t go on without my soulmate. That it wasn’t fair. I fought against them taking him from me. I fought and argued that he was still alive. I had him right there, clearly gone, and yet for some reason my brain had played tricks on me. I had thought they were lying when they had found a faint pulse._

_After I got home from the hospital, I don’t think I could remember how to breathe. Our apartment went black and suddenly it was like I didn’t know how to deal with it. I didn’t know how to function or what to think. It was like I was floating in the middle of a dark sea with no way out other than to sink and let the waves take me under._

_I knew he had been struggling, I did. I knew that he was having problems processing his father being Paris’s Number One Criminal. And with social media and his famous last name, it only made it that much harder to run from. He was slowly getting tired and fading from lack of sleep, food, and water. I don’t think I ever really saw him eat after he had found out, regardless of how hard I tried to get him to._

_But I wish I would have fully understood how badly he was hurting. How badly he wanted to end it and die. I would have gotten him more help than his last therapist. I would have told him it was going to be okay. I would have- I would have told him many things. I wish I had. Is it selfish to think that because it would be easier on me? Probably. Doesn’t matter now, does it? He’s gone._

**_The Adrien I once knew is gone._ **

* * *

Marinette took a moment and sat back in her chair, registering that he was mentally gone. How the doctor had warned her that he would probably have impaired balance, trouble seeing, speaking, and hearing. That he most likely wouldn’t be able to write. That he would be unable to focus and probably wouldn’t have much of a memory left.

It was like it was all flowing back through her. Every detailed moment of him and how he had gone downhill fast. How she had watched her fiancé slowly fade away and hadn’t seen it until it was too late. And here she was, writing in a journal like that would make it better. She sighed and was distracted when Emma walked towards her with her Chat Noir doll.

“Maman?” Emma hugged her toy and twisted back and forth, making her Ladybug dress swoosh around her.

Marinette set the pen down, rubbed her eyes, and turned around to smile at their daughter. “Yes, bug?”

“Why are you sad?” Emma cocked her head to the side and walked up to her mother to hug her.

Marinette hugged her back before she pulled away. “Maman just misses daddy is all, sweetheart. It’s okay.”

“But daddy’s over there.” Emma turned slightly to point at Adrien, who was zoned out and staring at the show on the television.

Marinette reached up to stroke her golden hair and kissed the top of her head. “I know, sweetheart. He is.”

“Then why do you miss him when you can go hug daddy now?” Emma peered up at Marinette with saddened eyes.

“It’s-” She tried to think of how to explain it to her and brushed their daughter’s hair behind her ears and cradled her face. “It’s complicated, love bug.” Marinette groaned as she lifted their five-year-old daughter onto her lap. She kissed their daughter on the head again and rocked her back and forth.

“Come sit with Daddy.” Emma smiled, and Marinette held her tighter.

“Okay.” Marinette sighed and set their daughter down.

She walked over to sit beside Adrien, taking his arm to place it around her shoulders and she wrapped an arm around him. He didn’t make a move to hold her or hug her back. He didn’t do anything but sit with his arm draped over her shoulders, and she thought how maybe dying was better for him. Maybe she was selfish for making him stay.

“You don’t want to be here anymore, do you?” Marinette peered up at him and softly spoke as Emma ran off to play in her room.

Adrien swallowed hard and a tear fell down his cheek, giving her the answer she hadn’t been wanting. She sighed and snuggled closer, playing with a string on his grey joggers. “Would it help if I said that I’m glad you’re here?”

She peered up at him and felt him slide from her arms as he stood up and stumbled towards their bedroom. Marinette sighed and took off again to stop him from ending it.

**Song that sums up this story:**

[ **Little Do You Know by Alex and Sierra** ](https://youtu.be/4bzIpYiPUUo)


	2. Miscommunication

_The reason that Chat Noir and I had even found out about Hawk Moth being Gabriel Agreste was due to miscommunication._

* * *

Marinette sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose as she thought about it. Had it really been due to that or was it really something else that she had lacked at seeing beforehand? She was unsure. To her, it seemed like it had all been a miscommunication. Adrien had tried to explain that it wasn’t her fault. That he had been the one to blame with how he always charged into something to save the day without thinking of the repercussions.

She sighed and looked over at her sleeping fiancé beside her. Their daughter was already asleep in bed and Marinette was under the covers with her journal pressed against her raised knees hidden beneath the comforter. She tapped the pen against the paper with the one sentence written across it when the screaming started.

She threw her journal to the side with the pen, not caring where it landed as she suddenly rolled Adrien over to kiss his cheeks and hold him as he fought something in his sleep. She hushed him in his ear and tried to hold him down as he flailed in the bed.

“Chat. Chaton. Kitty.” Marinette spoke loud enough in his ear, knowing this was the only time that she could call him that. His harsh pants calmed down and the screaming stopped. His eyes shot open and he frantically searched her eyes. “It’s okay. You’re home and safe. It’s over. It’s okay.”

She leaned down to press her forehead against his as he clutched her arms and dug his nails into her forearms. He suddenly burst out into sobs and she wrapped more of her body around him, keeping him grounded and not in his head.

“It’s okay.” Marinette stroked his hair and pulled away to watch his terrified gaze relax back into nothingness. Back into lacking emotion or thoughts. Back to being empty. She sighed and laid her head back on his chest. “Lonely kitty on a roof, all alone without his lady.”

Adrien began to hum with her, and she tried desperately not to cry as she sang the lyrics and he hummed along with her until he went silent. She pulled her head away and ran her thumb along his cheek before sitting up to gather her journal again.

* * *

_Sorry, I was interrupted by another one of his night terrors. Where was I? Right, he had always blamed himself for the miscommunication. A misstep in the plan that I had carefully crafted. How I had spilled the memory of Chat Blanc in a moment when my guard was down too far. I had accidently slipped it out telling him that at least he didn’t know his father was Hawk Moth because it would make matters worse than what he was dealing with. Which had led to him discovering his father was Hawk Moth. Why he blamed himself for this? I will never know._

_don’t know what went through his head to take the blame. Maybe because it was easier to take the fall rather than blame others. Maybe because his father had taught him to submit or else something bad would happen. I could believe it after seeing his father beat him with his cane as Hawk Moth. When all else felt like it was failing him. When he was trembling and scared of his father in a way that broke my heart. How he had apologized to me for being weak against him. When he never should have apologized. When he nev-_

* * *

Adrien began to mumble beside her and whine, tossing his head back and forth against his pillow and she gave up on writing. It hadn’t been his fault that he was this way. It hadn’t been his fault that he had found it. It was her fault.

Marinette pulled his head into her lap and ran her fingers through his damp golden hair. She shushed him and felt his panting ease. “It wasn’t your fault, kitty. It was mine. I shouldn’t have told you. I should have hidden it from you like the rest until you were ready. You weren’t ready.”

Adrien slowly opened his eyes and looked up at her, watching the tears fall down her cheeks. He reached up with a trembling hand and brushed a tear from her cheek to bring it down and focus on it. His heart ached for her, but he couldn’t get the words out. He couldn’t talk to her like he wanted to, and the words wouldn’t formulate. He groaned and closed his eyes to kiss the drop like it would solve everything.

“It was my fault. You can stop blaming yourself. Nothing has ever been your fault.” Marinette leaned down to rest her head on top of his and she sobbed.


	3. Stars

Stars. Stars had always reminded her of Chaton. Rain had always made her think of Adrien, but _stars_ , stars were reserved for her kitty cat.

She sat at the kitchen table with Adrien. Nino had come by to visit Adrien and take Emma to her dance lessons. Despite everything, Marinette had tried to make life as normal as possible for Emma. When Emma had asked to begin ballet, she had been ecstatic for her and signed her up for the latest class with her aunt Chloe.

“Are you going to eat today? You know you need to take your meds, hm?” Marinette poked his bowl closer to him. “Please? For me? For Emma?”

Adrien just sat there with a blank expression and she sighed, leaning back against her chair. She tried to think of any way to make the man eat something. She just stared at him and looked over at what he was staring at. The window that led to the outside.

“Wanna go for a walk?” Marinette searched his face. “I know you hate being cooped up in here.”

Adrien swallowed hard and she grabbed the spoon from his bowl. She put some of the soup she had made on the spoon and held it out for him.

“Adrien?” Marinette watched him ignore her. “Adrien!”

He turned to look at her and she smiled, putting the spoon back into his bowl. She stood up and held her hand out to him. He gazed from her face to her hand and took it with a shaky hand.

She helped him up and grabbed his bowl, leading him towards the balcony. “Let’s go outside.”

Adrien followed her out to the balcony, and she pulled the chair out for him. It felt weird doing that for him when he had done it for her for so many years prior. She softly laughed at the thought as he sat down.

“You know, back in the day you would never have dreamed of me doing that for you.” She teased and she swore she saw a hint of a smirk on his lips, causing her heart to spark and flutter.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, ‘It’s nice out today.”

Adrien swallowed hard and watched her as she reached over to grab the spoon again. He grabbed her wrist with a weak hand and shook his head.

“I can’t lose you and if that makes me selfish, fine. I’ll take it. But I won’t let you starve yourself and not take your meds.” Marinette grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand from hers. “So, c’mon. Eat for me.”

Adrien slowly gazed away from her and she sighed, putting the spoon back into the bowl. More tears fell from his eyes and she stared at him, watching intently, and taking in how the tears sparkled like, not just stars, but rain. He was the definition of the two melted into one. Pain and life all at the same time.

“Adrien,” Marinette tried again, and he ignored her. “Adrien!”

He turned to look at her again with a blank expression.

“I love you. I love you so much it hurts. You’re still liv-” Marinette was interrupted by him standing up and knocking the bowl to the ground on his way inside. Clearly not wanting to eat.

“Adrien?” Marinette rushed after him and found him in their bedroom, staring at a photo of his mother. She sighed and wrapped an arm around him. “You miss her still.”

Adrien nodded and she turned him around to face her. “Will you eat for her?”

Adrien seemed like he was thinking of whether he would or not and Marinette worried her bottom lip, holding out on hope that it would work.

She searched his gaze and waited for him to answer in any form, but he just dropped the photo. The sharp sound of glass shattering didn’t even phase her anymore. He dropped, threw, or broke things all the time.

“I’ll clean it up. Don’t worry.” Marinette helped him sit on the edge of the bed and she grabbed a broom to clean up the glass.

“Go.” Adrien swallowed and barely got the word out.

“Go?” Marinette peered up from cleaning the mess on the floor.

Adrien nodded and she became confused as to if he wanted her to leave him alone or something else.

“You want me to go?” Marinette’s heart caught in her throat.

Adrien licked his lips and shook his head. It suddenly hit her hard as to what he was saying, and she dropped everything to leap up at him and wrap her arms around his body.

“No. I won’t let you go. You stay. You stay right here.” Marinette sobbed into his shoulder.

“Go.” Adrien repeated, again, and her heart shattered.

“Uh-uh.” Marinette shook her head and felt his whole-body tremble.

“ _Please._ ” The word waivered from his lips as she felt tears fall onto her.

“Adrien Agreste, it’s going to get better. You’re going to get better. I just- I need you to eat and take your meds.” Marinette burst out as she pulled away and gripped his shoulders.

He peered past her with tears streaming down his cheeks. “ _Please.”_

Marinette sighed and reached up to brush the tears from his soft cheeks. “I can’t and you’re going to get better. Your therapists and doctors are working really hard with you. You’ve come a long way. You’re walking and have moments of clarity. I can tell, Adrien. You can’t hide that from me. Now, if only you would eat.” Marinette leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips, causing him to kiss her back.

“Emma?” Adrien searched around himself and the door suddenly burst open.

“Daddy!” Emma ran up and Marinette moved so that his daughter could hug him.

“Sorry, I tried to stop her, my dudes.” Nino was in the doorway, playing with the bill of his beat-up red hat.

Marinette warmly smiled as she stood up to hug Nino. “It’s okay. I was just trying to get him to eat and take his meds.”

“Still no luck?” Nino peered over at his best friend holding Emma on his lap as she showed him what she got on the way home with Nino.

Marinette shook her head and pressed her lips into a thin line. “I keep trying.”

“All we can do. At this rate, he might have to go back on-” Nino was interrupted by Marinette.

“I know. I don’t want him to have to deal with that again.” Marinette sighed, thinking about when he had a feeding tube in place since he refused to eat.

“How are you doing?” Nino searched her gaze.

Marinette licked her lips and led him out of the room, leaving the door open so she could still see him. “I’m tired.”

“I know. Alya knows too. She wants to come grab you for some girl time. I offered to chill with my bro.” Nino shrugged with his hands on his hips.

“That’s kind of you guys but-”

“You’re scared to leave him.” Nino peered down and nodded, kicking his foot. “I get it, Mari. I do.”

“What if he- what if he succeeds? I have to stop him every day, sometimes more than once, from trying to end it. Why? Tell me why I have to do this?” Marinette put her hands over her eyes and burst into tears.

“Hey, c’mon. Because you love him, Marinette. You love him more than anyone ever has.” Nino wrapped his arms around her, and she pressed her forehead against his chest. He peered over at Adrien, who was staring with an upset expression. “He knows it’s hard on you, Marinette. I know him. He wouldn’t wish this on anyone.”

“He told me he wanted to go today.” Marinette sniffed and peered up, wiping her eyes.

“Let me try. You take Emma to the park and let me try, hm?” Nino held her at arm’s length, and she nodded. “I promise I’ll keep him safe.”

“Kay.”

Marinette walked back to kiss Adrien on the cheek. She told him that she was taking Emma to the park and that Nino was going to hang out with him like old times. 


	4. Friendship With a Little Stars

Nino sat down beside Adrien with a sigh. He held out his fist and waited, watching Adrien slowly raise his fist to fist bump him. Nino softly laughed and leaned back on his palms with his legs spread.

He slowly looked over at Adrien. “You know, your girl is worried sick about you. And if you continue not eating, they’re going to put that feeding tube back in. We know how much you hated that thing.”

Adrien swallowed hard and nodded. Nino licked his lips and nodded too. “So uh, you wanna eat with me?”

Adrien didn’t answer, he just brought his fist to his thigh and ran his thumbnail along his index finger. He was trying to think of what to say, trying to piece the words together to express how he felt to his best friend, but he couldn’t really figure out what to say. But then, would it really matter even if he did say something?

“C’mon, dude.” Nino smacked his thighs and pushed to stand up with his hand out for him. “Let’s go.”

Adrien took his best friend’s hand, and Nino yanked him up from the bed. “You really are lucky, you know that?”

“Hm?” Adrien shuffled beside his best friend and nearly tripped over his own feet, causing Nino to catch him and take his weight onto his shoulder.

“You have a fiancée and daughter that love you to pieces. She’s still making her wedding dress and planning that wedding despite everything. She loves you to death, man.” Nino softly laughed and helped Adrien sit at the kitchen table. “Hell, I’d be shocked if Alya cared this much about me.”

“Mm.” Adrien jumped slightly and relaxed against the back of the chair.

Nino grabbed more soup to put into a bowl and heated it up for him. “You really should eat this. Marinette makes the best meals. Although, you know that. How many times did you get excited over a meal made by her or her parents?” He laughed and grabbed a spoon from a drawer.

He walked over to set the bowl and spoon in front of Adrien. He grabbed the container of pills and got a glass of water. Nino watched his best friend pick up the spoon with a trembling hand.

“Do it for her.” Nino warmly smiled and sat down, placing his array of pills on a napkin with a glass of water beside it. “I know deep down you don’t want to go. I know you’re a badass and can fight this.”

Adrien swallowed hard and weakly brought the spoon over to hover over the steaming liquid. Nino got up to grab a bowl for himself, thinking that would help. He sat back down as Adrien brought some to his lips.

“I know you’re hurting. I know you’re frustrated. So, does she. She knows you have shit to say but can’t. And that’s okay.” Nino placed the spoon into his bowl and brought some of the soup to his lips, taking a bite. “Damn, I missed Mari’s cooking.”

A smirk appeared on Adrien’s lips and Nino laughed, “Still love her. You can’t deny it.” He jabbed his spoon towards his best friend.

Adrien grabbed a bite onto his spoon and placed it into his mouth, closing his eyes and savoring it. It coated his tongue and reminded him of home. The warmth ran down his throat and made him hum with a sigh.

“Missed it, didn’t you?” Nino poked his spoon towards him again.

“Yes.” Adrien cleared his throat and took another shaky bite.

Nino smiled and continued to eat beside him. Once Adrien was done, Nino pushed the medication towards him and took the bowl from him to wash in the sink with his own. Adrien stared at the pills and swallowed hard.

“You know you need to take those to get better.” Nino glanced over at Adrien.

“Yes.” Adrien nodded and Nino sighed.

He walked back over and sat down beside Adrien. “What are you thinking, dude?”

He folded his arms on the desk and stared at Adrien. Adrien licked his lips and thought about how there was no point in taking them. He just wanted to end it. He just wanted to die. He couldn’t even speak to Marinette or Nino and it frustrated him to pieces. He wanted to talk. He wanted to say what was on his mind, but his brain wouldn’t let him. And again, even if he did, would anyone really care about what he had to say?

He slammed his fist onto the table, causing the pills to bounce and roll. Nino caught them and took his best friend’s hand. He placed one pill into his palm and smiled.

“One at a time. C’mon.” Nino kept himself calm and Adrien grumbled. “You ate for me. Now, take the pills so you can get better.”

Adrien sighed and tossed one into his mouth. Nino held the glass of water and Adrien took it with a shaky hand to swallow it. He set the glass down and was about to get up, but Nino stopped him.

“You still have more, dude.” Nino raised an eyebrow at him, and Adrien grabbed all the pills from his hand and slammed them all back without water.

Nino passed him water and Adrien glared at him. “I’m not playing anymore. You need to drink, eat, and take your pills. Try.”

Adrien sighed and grabbed the glass, downing it before slamming the glass down so hard it shattered in his hand. Crimson dripped from his fist and Nino cursed under his breath. He walked away to grab a towel to add pressure to the wound. Adrien sniffed and tears poured down his cheeks.

“Mari.” Adrien spoke her name and Nino sighed.

“Mari went to the park with Emma.” Nino opened his palm to look at the damage. “I need tweezers.”

“No.” Adrien shook his head and Nino sighed.

“I’m not letting you die.” Nino got Adrien up and headed to their bathroom.

He found tweezers and made Adrien sit down so he could pick the shards of glass from his palm.

Marinette ran in and Nino moved out of the way. “What happened?”

“Mari.” Adrien peered up at her with a relieved expression and clung to her.

“I’m here.” Marinette held his hand away from her so that he didn’t get blood on her clothes.

“He slammed a glass down and cut his hand.” Nino adjusted his hat and Marinette sat on Adrien’s lap and looked over the wounds on his palm and fingers.

“You need to stop doing that, please.” Marinette smiled at Adrien and took the tweezers from Nino, removing the last sliver.

“Marinette, maybe it’s time to find someone to come in and-” Nino was interrupted by her.

“He goes to more appointments than the average person and works hands-on with different therapists. I just want him to be comfortable at home. It’s fine. I got this.” Marinette got up to grab alcohol to clean the cuts before bandaging it for him. She brought his hand up to her lips and kissed his bandaged palm. “Did you eat?”

“He ate and took pills.” Nino sighed and scratched his head beneath his hat.

“Thank you.” Marinette smiled at Nino and watched him nod.

“I’m gonna head out now. Alya wanted to go out to dinner.” Nino smiled.

“Okay, thank you.” Marinette got up and hugged Nino before going back to Adrien.

“Anytime. And Mari?” Nino swallowed hard, searching from Adrien to her.

“Yeah?” Marinette peered up at him.

“Remember our offer.” Nino watched her nod before he left them alone.

“I’m glad you ate.” Marinette warmly smiled and hugged Adrien.

Adrien reached up to touch her chin, causing her gaze to lock with his. Wonder filled her eyes and they sparkled. A soft smile appeared on his lips and one word tumbled from them before he sweetly kissed her with the lightest touch.

“ _Stars_.”

A tear fell down her cheek as he kissed her again, pulling her closer against himself with his arms around her waist. Her lips quivered against his as she got lost in the way his soft lips brushed along hers. She sniffed and wrapped her arms around his neck, climbing into his lap and kissing him harder. She rolled her hips in time with his as his tongue ran along hers in a heated kiss that made her feel closer to him. He sighed and brushed his lips against hers, running his hands down to grip her behind. She softly giggled against his kisses and focused on him again, running her hands up his neck to tangle her fingers into his hair. She put all of her love and feelings into it.

And just like that, it was gone. He pulled away and went back to staring blankly. She brushed the tears from beneath his eyes and warmly smiled at him. “Thank you for always showing me the stars. Even in the toughest situations.”

*******

Once Marinette got Emma and Adrien situated into bed, she laid down with the journal against her knees. She sighed and thought about it for a moment.

* * *

_He had always told me that I reminded him of the stars. Mostly my freckles that dusted my cheeks. But I remember one day we had been sitting on the Eiffel Tower and he had looked into my eyes, lost in them._

_The only word from his lips had been, “stars.”_

_I thought he wouldn’t remember, but I had been wrong. He said it today, in the same way too. He knew. He damn well knew what he was talking about. Part of me wonders, well knows, that part of why he’s so quiet is because he’s so upset. I get the same way. Silent and lost in my head, wondering if anyone would even care if I did say something._

_Nino seems to help too. I mean, friendship is a powerful thing. Especially, one as strong as theirs. But I do wish that Adrien knew that we love him, support him, and care about him. That I do care about what he has to say. I want to know all of his secrets, but it’s not my say. It’s his. I know he’ll talk when he’s ready to. He’s just not ready. And… that’s okay. I can wait. For him, I can wait._

* * *

She sniffed and closed the journal, setting it on her nightstand with the pen on top of it. She crawled under the covers and wrapped her arm and leg over Adrien, snuggling closer to fall asleep beside him.

She was proud of him. He had eaten and taken his pills. That was enough of a success for her to celebrate.

“I’m proud of you.” Marinette whispered and kissed his temple, hearing him mumble in his sleep. “I’ve always been proud of you.”

She sighed and fell asleep.


	5. Butterflies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **You know... it's deeper than brain damage, right? It'll all become clear later. ^-^ Anyway, thank you for reading and kudoing and commenting! I've been enjoying them all! ^-^**

* * *

_His father kept them beneath his house, breeding them among the flowers that surrounded Adrien’s mother’s life support. The papers didn’t tell that to the general public. No one knew about that. Of course, where else would Hawk Moth have gotten them. He had to source them somewhere to do his bidding._

_Something about it was grotesque and disturbing to me. Of all the places to cultivate those, why there?_

* * *

Marinette sat in the waiting room of Adrien’s therapist’s lobby. She tapped her pen against her bottom lip in thought. There was nothing else she could really think of other than how weird it was that he bred butterflies.

“Mademoiselle Dupain-Cheng?” A voice called her, and she shut her journal to stand up and follow the therapist back to her fiancé.

*******

* * *

_Adrien had only talked about them once after knowing about them. Only once had he brought them up. He didn’t know why either, but it disturbed him to no end to know that they were with his maman._

_Not that I could blame him. The doctors had said that he was making progress. I did know that because he was having deeper moments of clarity and using at least a word. She was able to get something out of him, which was a good sign._

_She upped his dosage and handed me the new script for him to fill. The side effects of all the meds were probably the worst part. I felt bad for him, but there was no part of me that would give up on him. Not like his father had._

* * *

“Adrien?” Marinette peered over at him on the couch and sighed when he didn’t look at her, too focused on Emma. She warmly smiled as Emma handed him cars.

“Daddy? Maman is talking to you.” Emma ran a car over his thigh.

Adrien looked at Marinette and searched her gaze. “Yes?”

Marinette chewed on her bottom lip, “Do you remember when we took Emma to the butterfly exhibit that was featured at the _Louvre_ that one time?”

Adrien blinked and Marinette softly giggled. “There was this room full of butterflies. The ceiling was covered in foliage and there were floral sculptures all over. It was like a fairytale. You lifted baby Emma over your head and told her she was a fairy princess and that one day, she would be queen of the butterflies.”

Adrien peered down at Emma and weakly smiled, picking her up into his lap to kiss her on the head. He hugged her and Emma snuggled against him.

Marinette fought back the tears as Adrien hummed a song to their daughter, one that she recognized. A song that he had played her on piano when they were kids.

“You remember a lot, don’t you?” Marinette rested her elbow on her thigh and her cheek on her fist.

Adrien sat back and hugged their daughter. Emma brought a silver car up and showed her father it. “What car is this, daddy?”

Adrien took the car with a trembling hand and Marinette chewed on her bottom lip, watching him struggle to read it. Emma patiently waited. Marinette knew that their sweet daughter would wait for all eternity to hear her daddy say it.

He sighed and thought for a moment before shaking his head and poking her on the tip of her nose with a kind smile.

“How about I read it for you, kitten?” Marinette sat down beside them, and Adrien passed her the car.

“Why can’t daddy?” Emma peered up at Marinette with a confused gaze.

Adrien tried to hide that it broke him to hear his daughter ask that question. Marinette could see it in his eyes. In the way that he was looking at their daughter with swollen eyes like he was trying not to cry again.

“Daddy is… tired.” Marinette smiled and looked over at Adrien. “Here.”

Marinette got closer and turned the car upside down. Adrien peered down at it and she smiled. “I know you can do it.”

“No.” Adrien shook his head.

“Wanna try?” Marinette warmly smiled.

Adrien sighed and humored her, taking the car from her again. “ _Fer_ …” He took a moment and rolled his eyes at himself.

“It’s okay, Daddy.” Emma pat his arm and Adrien sighed.

“… _rar_ i. _Fer..rari_.” Adrien handed the car to Emma and she giggled.

“Do you like _Ferrari_ ’s daddy?” Emma cuddled the car in her hands and twisted from side to side.

Adrien nodded and sighed, feeling exhausted after trying to read it. It was beyond frustrating to go from reading old texts and doing complicated equations to not being able to read a simple car name. 


	6. Mischief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I'm going to post the days for the weekend so I can rest because I've actually been sick the last few days. XD Surprise, surprise. I swear I'm always sick now. lol Anyway, enjoy and have a good weekend!! :)**

Adrien watched Marinette giggling and chasing Emma around the kitchen. They were busy making passion fruit macarons and fighting with flour. It burst up into big plumes of smoke around them as they squealed and ran around. Giggles filled the kitchen around him, and a smile slowly crept onto his lips.

“Daddy! Save me!” Emma screamed and giggled as Marinette evilly laughed and snatched her up with flour covered hands.

“I got you!” Marinette attacked their daughter with kisses and Emma giggled harder as she gave up.

Adrien watched Marinette dance around the kitchen with Emma. He swallowed hard and his eyes followed them as they went back to making cookies.

“Want to stir?” Marinette passed the mixing bowl to Adrien and licked some of the batter from her ring finger that still showcased her pink sapphire engagement ring.

Adrien grabbed her hand and looked over the ring with blushing cheeks. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, causing Marinette to focus on his action. A blush came to her cheeks and he smiled.

“Dress?” Adrien peered up at her.

Marinette’s eyes widened. “How did you- Did Nino tell you?”

“Yes.” Adrien cleared his throat and Marinette’s expression softened.

“I’m still planning it, my prince.” Marinette reached over to touch his cheek. “Rain or shine, I’m going to marry you. You’re my soulmate and my forever.”

Adrien closed his eyes as she grazed his cheek. He slowly opened his eyes as Emma threw flour at him and he smiled. He let go of Marinette’s hand to lift their daughter into his lap and tickle her.

Emma giggled and wiggled out of his arms to run around the kitchen again. Marinette shook her head and held a spoon out to Adrien.

Adrien reached over with a trembling hand and Marinette winked at him. It took him a bit longer to mix the batter for her, but she didn’t mind. She was just glad that he was helping and being a part of their little family. Emma helped Marinette make the filling for them, causing another mess to clean up. Marinette had just giggled and continued without caring. A mess could always be cleaned up, no matter how big. The important thing was that they were having fun and that Adrien was distracted and happy for a moment.


	7. Wise

* * *

_Master Fu had always been a wise old man. Someone that always knew the right things to say, even if they sounded completely insane at times. He was a good man. Some days I missed him. I missed finding him in unexpected places to grab Miraculouses from him. But he was happy now, living the life that he had always wanted with the woman of his dreams._

_Now, the wise man in my life was Adrien. He always knew what to say or what to do. His logical brain drove me forward on days that I didn’t think I could. Before now that is. But even now I can see it behind his eyes. He’s still in there. Lost, but still there. You can’t tell me he’s not. I can feel it._

* * *

She sat in the lobby as he was in occupational therapy, relearning how to write. They were hoping that he would get better at it enough to articulate his thoughts. It took a bit of pushing to even get him to start. That whole concept of not being able to help those that don’t want it, isn’t a lie.

If he didn’t want help, he wouldn’t get helped. Emma had actually been his saving grace on it. She had been practicing her letters and placing her pencil in his hand to help him too. She had told her in secret that she was going to teach daddy too. That they could learn together, and it had melted her heart. Emma was the most supportive little thing and Marinette was proud of being her mother. She still remembered last night’s lesson and it made her bring her hand to her lips and softly giggle.

* * *

_I still remember last night and the lesson that Emma gave Adrien. It was the cutest thing that I had ever seen. I had to hide my tears as I heard her and watched her from the corner of my eye as I was knitting a new sweater for Adrien._

_“Today we’re going to work on ‘M’ so that we can spell maman’s name.” Emma had giggled and placed a pencil into Adrien’s hand._

_She had drawn her own ‘M’ and then clasped Adrien’s hand to put him through the motions of the shape. She had repeated it with him, watching the pencil drift along the paper until a slew of ‘M’s ran down the page._

_"See? Now you try, Daddy.” Emma had smiled proudly._

_Adrien had poked his tongue out to focus, writing an ‘M’ that was sloppy but pretty decent. I had smiled and Emma had screamed, ‘yay’, and thrown her arms into the air before wrapping them around Adrien’s neck._

_Adrien had gently touched her back and pat it, hugging his daughter._

_Emma had pulled away with this massive grin stating, “One step closer to maman’s name!”_

_I didn’t think I could love that kid more than at that moment._

* * *

Marinette closed her journal as she heard the door and her name. She walked over with a smile to take Adrien’s hand.

“He did good today. We’re making progress. Have a good day.”

“Thank you. You too.” Marinette smiled at the man that had brought Adrien back out.

Marinette led Adrien out of the office to her car, opening the door for him. “How about we go to the park after we get Emma?”

“Ok.” Adrien shrugged and she smiled, waiting for him to get into the car.

She shut the door and got into the driver’s side, starting the car. She headed off to her parent’s boulangerie with music blasting in the car. She always chose songs that he loved.

Marinette parked outside of the boulangerie and opened the door for Adrien. He climbed out and nearly lost balance. She caught him by putting an arm around him and helped steady him.

She closed the door and locked the car, leading Adrien into the bakery. Tom perked up and Emma ran towards them. She threw herself against Adrien and Marinette gasped. Adrien kept his balance and caught his daughter and Marinette let the breath out that she had been holding.

“Careful, bug.” Once the shock wore off, Marinette smiled up at her papa. “Salut, Papa.”

“Salut, Marinette.” Tom hugged her and Adrien. “How are you?”

“Good.” Adrien cleared his throat and tried to pretend to be fine.

Marinette smiled, knowing that Adrien didn’t want her parents to think he was struggling. He always did this. Put on this fake show, but her parents’ knew. It wasn’t like they had hid it from them. She couldn’t count how many times she had called her maman for advice late at night when she couldn’t sleep, or he wouldn’t stop screaming.

“Maman.” Marinette warmly smiled as she saw Sabine come from behind the counter.

Tears triggered to fall from her eyes and Tom took Adrien from her to show him around the bakery. They had started making new bon bons and he wanted to show them off.

“Oh sweetheart.” Sabine hugged Marinette and rubbed her back.

“Maman, I- I’m trying.” Marinette quietly spoke against her shirt.

Adrien peered over at them and bit his bottom lip. He was breaking her, and she was falling apart. There was nothing he could do. He hyper-focused on his fiancée.

Emma tugged on the hem of his shirt. “Daddy?”

Adrien peered down at his daughter, releasing his bottom lip. She raised her hands up and he leaned down to lift her. She played with his shirt and peered down at her fingers.

“Maman is sad.” Emma peered up at him and he swallowed hard. “I don’t know how to make maman happy.”

Tom stared at Adrien and watched him smile. Adrien hugged her and poked her on the nose. Emma grabbed his cheeks and leaned up to kiss him.

“I love you, Daddy.” Emma snuggled against him and Tom smiled.

“Love, bug.” Adrien kissed the top of her head.

Tom finished showing Adrien the newest flavors while Marinette spent time with her mother. Emma giggled as Tom had passed her a sample of one of the bon bons, making her clap and giggle with glee. Adrien smiled as she begged for more.

Adrien grabbed her hands and kissed them to signal that she had had enough for the evening.


	8. Clarity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **And here lies where we get to the E rating. XD On another note, I'm currently working on day 31. :) Should also mention there are more rated E moments coming your way. ;) LMAO**

* * *

_Today is a good day. He has very few, but today is one. I hadn’t heard him laugh in months, but today he finally did. What made it even sweeter was that it was due to Emma being silly. She had run out of her bedroom in a silly outfit and pretended to walk a runway, modeling her lovely ensemble. Adrien had smiled and burst out laughing at her silly pose._

_“Beautiful pose.” Adrien had softly laughed before getting up from the couch._

_He had caught his balance and walked over to her. He wiggled his index finger at her, and Emma had given him her purple scarf that I had knitted for her. What happened next was the most amazing thing I had seen in months from him._

_I even took photos because I couldn’t pass it up. He had wrapped the scarf around his neck and posed like he used to. He had one foot out, a hand in his pocket, and his thumb near his bottom lip. My heart had skipped a beat because I hadn’t seen that expression on his face in years. It shocked me to say the least._

_My mouth had fallen open and he had dramatically turned and walked back down the runway with the model gait that I remembered. Emma had giggled and flicked her hair, posing a few times, and then heading back down the runway with her dad._

_I never thought I would see that man model again. My heart had died, and I took so many photos of them walking down that damn runway in our family room like it was the best dang fashion show I had ever witnessed because it was. It was the best show I had ever been to._

* * *

Marinette closed her journal as the sounds of Emma’s giggles surrounded her. Adrien was making car sounds and beeping as he sat on the floor and drove the little cars around the rug with his daughter. She smiled and looked at the time, noticing that it was really late, but she couldn’t get herself to end their playtime.

She gave up and sat down on the floor with them, wrapping her arms around his bicep and resting her head against his shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” Adrien peered over at her and she shook her head.

She peered up at him with her chin resting on his shoulder and a sweet smile on her lips. He smiled and leaned over to brush his lips against hers.

“I love you,” Marinette softly spoke.

“Love you too.” Adrien kissed her one more time and Emma walked over to get into Adrien’s lap. He groaned and Marinette giggled.

“I wanna hug too.” Emma snuggled with them and Adrien wrapped an arm around her.

“I think it’s time for princesses to go to bed.” Marinette poked their daughter on the nose, and she giggled.

“No… I wanna play with daddy more.” Emma whined.

“Maman’s right.” Adrien weakly smiled and snuggled her one more time. “Night, kitten.”

“Night, daddy. Story?” Emma searched her parents’ gazes.

Adrien peered at Marinette and she nodded. “I’ll read you a story.”

“Daddy?” Emma peered up at him.

Adrien nodded and helped her up from his lap. Marinette took her hand and got up, holding her other hand out for Adrien.

He took it and got up from the ground, stumbling. Marinette caught him and smiled with her hand on his chest.

“I’m good.” He cleared his throat and righted himself.

Marinette nodded and made sure he was following her to Emma’s bedroom.

*******

Adrien sat in bed with the television on and Marinette came out of the bedroom, drying her wet hair. He peered over at her with a warm smile and looked her up and down. She blushed and giggled at him, shaking her head.

“You’re turn, hot stuff.” Marinette held her hand out for him, and he swung his legs over the bed.

Adrien sighed and followed her to the bathroom. He still felt like a huge burden to her and he never had wanted to be. The point was to not be one for anyone anymore. But he had only succeeded in making himself feel more like one.

“Mari?” Adrien swallowed hard as she got the bath ready for him.

“Hm?” Marinette peered over at him.

“I’m sorry.” Adrien held back tears, but she knew. There wasn’t a moment that he could hide it from her. “So, sorry.”

“Adrien.” Marinette walked over to him and reached up to touch his face. “It’s okay. I’m not upset or mad. Am I sad? Yes. Am I tired? Yes. Can I get a little frustrated? Yes. But I will never hate you or blame you. I will never stop caring about you. You mean so much to me.”

Adrien closed his eyes and nuzzled her hand. “Same.”

“I know you’re frustrated. It’s okay to be. It’s okay to be angry. You did have a good day today though.” Marinette smiled for him and he nodded with a smirk.

“Spoil you.” Adrien smirked and Marinette reached up on her toes to kiss him.

“Spoil me?” Marinette teased with a smile.

“Mm-hm.” He nodded and moved his hands around her waist to pull her closer.

“Are you sure?” Marinette searched his gaze and played with his shirt.

“Yes, please.” Adrien leaned down and brushed his lips against hers with a fervor that made her forget about everything.

His lips cascaded kisses down her neck and along her shoulder as his hands undid her towel. Marinette ran her fingers along the hem of his shirt, and he helped her take it off. They froze, their eyes locked on one another and their cheeks flushed with arousal as they took.one another in.

"Gorgeous." Adrien touched beneath her chin with a trembling hand and leaned down to brush his soft lips against hers again.

She closed her eyes and sighed as he took her hands and brought them to his pants. He curled her fingers beneath the band and made her ease them down his legs.

Marinette ran her hands back up his body to press her hips against his. His hardened length pressed against the apex of her thighs and he led her out of the bathroom and to the bed.

"Here. Sit for me." Marinette moved the pillows, so they were against the headboard.

He sat down with his back pressed against them. His emerald eyes gazed down his fiancée’s body as he took in her curvy figure. She had only gotten more beautiful with age.

She crawled onto the bed and gently straddled his hips. "How's that?"

Adrien ran his hands along her hips and gripped them with a smirk. "Sexier if you'd move."

" _Rude_ ," Marinette giggled and picked on him.

"I'm kidding." Adrien rolled his eyes and yanked her closer, capturing her mouth with his own.

She gasped and moaned as she held onto his shoulders and raised up before gently rolling her hips. Adrien groaned as he sank into her warmth.

"Shhh…" Marinette brought her finger to his lips, and he softly laughed. "Emma is gonna wake up if you keep doing that."

"Sorry." Adrien leaned down to bite her shoulder, causing her to part her lips and move her head to grant him more access to her neck.

"Somehow I don't believe you," Marinette joked and covered his mouth with hers in a hungry kiss as she rolled her hips.

"Let me." Adrien touched her hips like he wanted her to move.

Marinette got up and he gestured with his finger for her to come closer. "What?"

"Pussy. Mouth. Now." He gave her a smoldering expression and she giggled.

“You have such a way with words, Casanov- _Eee!_ ” Marinette teased him and squealed when he grabbed her thighs and brought her closer, as soon as, she had stood up and placed her hands on the headboard.

Adrien quietly laughed and ran his tongue along her folds, tracing them. She shivered and tried to not buck her hips as his tongue flicked her swollen clit and ran down to her entrance. His other hand caressed his hardened length, while his wrapped his lips around her pussy and sucked on it. She gasped and her legs trembled, while her toes curled against the mattress. She brought one hand down to tangle into his hair as his tongue flicked against her clit fast until she let go.

She came hard, biting her bottom lip to stay quiet. She didn't want to wake up Emma and have her knocking at the door. He let her go with a smack on the behind and she sat back on his lap.

"Your turn, hot stuff." Marinette winked and crawled backwards, wiggling her butt in the old way she used to whenever she got excited.

He laughed and pinched the bridge of his nose until her warm tongue had licked up the underside of his cock and swirled around his swollen head.

" _Shit_." Adrien bit back a moan as her warm mouth wrapped around his cock and sucked down to the base and back up.

He got lost in the way her tongue danced along his hardened length and the way her mouth sucked on him.

" _Mari,_ " he begged. " _I_ -"

Marinette peered up at him and that was enough. Her beautiful bluebell eyes peering up at him, sparkling and cute as all hell, lulled him over the edge. His thighs spread and Marinette watched him tilt his head back as he flinched and released into her mouth.

She watched him slowly peer back down into her eyes with lowered lashes, parted lips, and blushing cheeks. He panted and licked his lips, riding out his orgasm and twitching while she licked every last drop and swallowed it.

She smiled and let him go to crawl back on his lap. "Ready for that bath?

"Are you?" Adrien raised an eyebrow at her and drew circles on her left thigh.

Marinette warmly smiled and savored the last moment of clarity, "Always."

It had been a good day. She couldn’t deny that it had been one and it was only going to get better. At least until tomorrow.


	9. Thunderous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I'm choosing to drop the whole rest of this fic now. ^-^**

* * *

_Trauma is an interesting thing. At least for Adrien it was. It was like he had pushed back the memory of his father being Hawk Moth. Pushed back the memory that hurt him the most and had covered it with flowers. The only time that he really was Chat Noir, or even remembered, was when it broke through the wall in his reoccurring night terrors. That was why I could call him Chat, Chaton, or kitty then. Because during his night terrors, he was. Adrien was gone and my kitty would surface. And the rest of the time? He was Adrien. There was no Plagg, Chat, kitty, Hawk Moth, or… Ladybug for that matter. That had been the hardest thing for me. Not hearing him call me his bugaboo, his lady, or just plain Ladybug. It was like that part of our lives had died and the only time I saw it was during a night terror that threw him into panicked screams._

_Sigh… I should have known he was Chat Noir before the reveal. I should have known before I had run to the Agreste Chateau on that rainy day to say that I was through just because of his father. I should have put my foot down like I had so many times before, but I hadn’t. I don’t know why. You would think that I would have like so many times before it._

_The thunder had been so loud, much like the day we had first talked in front of lycée._

* * *

The loud crash of something falling made her jump from her thoughts. She threw her pen down and hurried into the family room to find the television on the ground. Adrien was about to grab a book from a shelf to toss it in his anger until she stopped him.

“Hey. What’s wrong?” Marinette watched him slowly turn to face her and break down into tears. “Adrien.”

He shook his head and yanked his hand from hers. “Go.”

She cursed beneath her breath because she was going to go through this again. Through the exhaustion and pain of having to stop him from hurting himself. Have to keep him from leaving her alone with Emma because he felt it was easier. She really should have expected it after the amazing day before. It couldn’t all be happy days filled with rainbows and sunshine. She licked her lips and ran after him, finding him rummaging through cabinets for something.

“Adrien!” Marinette called out and he froze. “You won’t find anything.”

“Nothing?” Adrien slammed the cabinet shut and stumbled down the hallway, holding onto the walls for stability.

“Please, kitty.” Marinette gasped and covered her mouth with tears forming in her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Adrien suddenly collapsed to the ground and curled up with his arms over his head, whining and repeating the word, ‘sorry’. Marinette rushed over and kneeled behind him, as he broke down.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I- it slipped out.” Marinette placed kisses along his shoulders, trying to calm him down. “Adrien.”

He peered over his shoulder at her with tears running down his cheeks. “Hawk Moth.”

“I know.” Marinette swallowed hard as she watched him go through it all over again. Watching as the memory slammed back into him because she had triggered it. It had been her fault again. She knew better than to slip up and call him that.

“Father.” Adrien thought for a moment and she nodded.

“Yes,” Marinette agreed and waited.

“Where?” Adrien got up and began to tear through the house.

“Gone, Adrien. Your father is gone. Defeated and gone.” Marinette watched him freeze again in their bedroom.

“Gone?” Adrien turned around to look her up and down. “No, no.”

“Adrien. Listen to me.” Marinette walked up to him and grabbed his forearms.

He glared at her and ripped his arms away from her. “Have to go.”

“No, no. You can’t go,” Marinette desperately pleaded.

“Not safe.” Adrien gave her a serious expression. “Ladybug.”

Marinette’s eyes widened and she stopped functioning at the name from his lips. “Excuse me?”

“Ladybug.” Adrien searched her gaze and his lips twitched at the edges.

“I’m not Ladybug anymore.” Marinette shook her head and her voice waivered.

“Yes, always.” Adrien pointed at her and fell back to sit on the bed. “Always were.” He stabbed his chest with his hand. “My Ladybug.”

“Yes, your bug.” Marinette sniffed as she listened to him.

“I killed-” Adrien gripped at his throat, and she ran up to touch his wrists.

“No, no you didn’t. I fixed it. I fixed it long ago.” Marinette shook her head and wrapped him up in her arms, holding him tight.

“Watched die.” Adrien burst out as he remembered being Aspik and watching her die over and over again. “Couldn’t save.”

“Adrien, it’s okay. That was so long ago. We’re okay. Your father is in- he’s in jail for a long time. Maximum Security.” Marinette explained to him for the hundredth time, but she didn’t mind. She would explain it as many times as she needed to.

“Wanna talk.” Adrien’s voice came out desperate. “But can’t.”

“I know. That’s why we’re working. You’re getting better and we’re going to get through this. Want me to tell you the story?” Marinette pulled away and crouched down to search his gaze. “Want me to tell you what happened again?”

Adrien nodded and sniffed, feeling completely useless and upset. He never thought he could feel more broken than he already had, but he had been wrong.

Marinette sat down beside him on the bed and took his hand in hers. She pat the back of it and brought it to her lips before she took a deep breath. She tried to gather her thoughts when he spoke.

“Plagg?” Adrien licked his lips and peered straight ahead.

“Your kwami?” Marinette peered over at him and he nodded. “He’s with Tikki and the others.”

“Miss him.” Adrien sniffed and Marinette warmly smiled.

She brushed his hair behind his ear, “I’m sure he misses you too. You guys had an amazing bond.”

“Tell me.” Adrien peered over at her.

“You found out your father was Hawk Moth and you cornered him in his office. Nathalie tried to hold you back and even I had tried, but you were adamant. You had to talk to him and the moment you caught him, he tried to persuade you.” Marinette took a deep breath and peered up, trying to not cry.

“How?” Adrien searched her gaze.

“He took you down to his lair. _Us_ to it. He showed you why he wanted our Miraculouses and unveiled your- your mother.” Marinette hated to remember it. She hated thinking about what his father had done. “You got upset and went into shock, staring at your mother in her life pod. Anger filled you, you transformed, and you ran at him. I swung my yo-yo before you could end it because I knew it would haunt you more than anything else. I got Roger to come down and arrest both your father and Nathalie. My parents took you into their home and you stayed with us. You seemed to be doing alright, but- but then I began to notice small hints.” Marinette took a deep breath.

“Almost as soon as you found out who I was, we started dating. Legitimately dating.” Marinette licked her lips and warmly smiled. “We had Emma when we were twenty-three. You had been so thrilled, but I could still tell that your father was wearing down on you.”

Adrien swallowed hard and she softly laughed, “I remember the day that I went into labor, you were a wreck. Running around the apartment like a scaredy cat. I think I was calmer than you.”

“Probably.” Adrien softly smiled.

“You were so scared. Then Emma barely waited to get to the hospital.” Marinette giggled and Adrien licked his lips. “You were happy. You still have good days where you are, but you have a lot of painful days. I wish I could make them better but only you can.”

“I know.” Adrien sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

Marinette reached over to grab his pill container and held out his dosage for the day. “How about it?”

Adrien sighed and took the pills from her hand, tossing them back, before taking the water from her. He swallowed and passed her back the glass.

“Your father is in prison and is set to be there for life. You don’t have to worry about him anymore.” Marinette ran her hand through his hair. “The only thing that matters is what’s in this apartment. Emma, you, and me. We go at your pace. No one elses. If you want to go out and walk or go out and do something fun? We’ll go. If you want to stay in and relax here? We’ll stay in. But I can’t handle losing you from my life because you bring so much light to it. You always have.”

“Okay.” Adrien leaned over to cuddle her with tears streaming down his cheeks, and she smiled and nuzzled her face against him.

She brushed her thumb along the back of his hand and played with his fingers. “It’ll be okay.”

Adrien gently pushed her from him and got up. Marinette ran after him, thinking that he was going to do something again, but she froze when she caught him in the family room. She crossed her arms and watched him stumble over to the knocked over television and lift it back up onto the entertainment center. He then went to reach down to pick up a book when he nearly fell over and Marinette rushed over to steady him.

“Fixing.” Adrien blushed at her and she nodded.

“I’ll help you. It’s not fair for you to clean everything yourself.” Marinette smiled and brushed her hair behind her ear.

Adrien shook his head. “Not fair. For you.”

“I don’t mind.” Marinette kissed his cheek and began to help him clean the mess he had made in his anger.


	10. Moonlight

* * *

_I had spent so many years with Chat Noir under the moonlight. It was like that was what symbolized us. The moon and stars. We spent time beneath the moon, whether we were fighting or hanging out. It didn’t matter. We were inseparable, even if I seemed like I didn’t like him. I secretly did. He always knew how to make me laugh and even now, don’t tell anyone, but I miss his puns. Yes, I said it. He’ll never know. It’s out little secret, between you and me._

_To say that I missed our moments beneath the moonlight and night sky would be an understatement, but that didn’t stop us from doing that still._

* * *

Marinette warmly smiled as she peered over at Adrien sitting beside her under the Eiffel Tower with Emma spinning around. She was barefoot on the grass with her arms out and he was watching her. Marinette placed her hands on the journal resting against her lap and giggled as Emma fell due to being dizzy.

Marinette closed her journal and set it aside, standing up to hold her hand out to Adrien. He peered up at her confused and she wiggled her fingers. “C’mon, silly.”

Adrien got up and took her hand. She placed one of his hands on her waist and interlaced her fingers with his other one. She peered up, smiled, and she watched his lips curl up.

“No music,” Adrien softly chuckled.

“Well, we don’t need music when I can follow the beat of my heart.” Marinette shrugged and took them into a waltz.

Emma giggled and watched her parents dance with the moonlight cascading down on them. Adrien leaned down to rest his head on top of hers as they danced in a circle. He breathed in the scent of her shampoo and sighed as she calmed him. She pressed her cheek against his chest as they danced, and she got lost in the way his heart was beating.

Adrien pulled away and gestured for Emma and she squealed and ran up to them. Adrien lifted her and began to dance with both Marinette and Emma in the grass, getting lost in their own song with the moon high above them and the tower glittering with golden lights.

**Song I wrote to:**

**[Couple of Kids by Maggie Lindemann](https://youtu.be/OADtm1NWF7s) **


	11. Unsaid

* * *

_The love we have is unspoken. Nothing has to be said about it. We show it. He doesn’t have to tell me he loves me every day for me to know it. He knows that and so do I. Although, I’m sure he’d love to be saying it more now than ever. But it’s okay._

* * *

Marinette peered up at the time and cursed when she realized what time it was. “Adrien? Emma?”

She shut the journal and set it down, running into the other room to get them ready to go to her parents’ house. She needed to drop them off so that she could attend her therapy appointment.

“We’re going to be late!” She stopped in the doorway of Emma’s bedroom and found her putting make-up on her dad. She covered her lips and giggled. “Why… seems I found a couple of beautiful people. I’m jealous.”

Emma giggled and held up her applicator. “Should I do maman’s make-up to? I’m a professional!”

Adrien softly smiled and Marinette walked into the room to sit down. “How about after we get back from papa and grandma’s house, hm? I have to get to my appointment.”

“Awe…” Emma whined, and Marinette giggled.

“You made daddy more handsome though.” Marinette touched Adrien’s chin and kissed him on his red lips.

The lipstick was smudged and slightly messy from Emma’s unsteady hand. Adrien smiled and yanked her close to kiss her again, causing Marinette to giggle and squeal as he placed red lipstick marks all over her cheeks.

“Stop…” Marinette laughed and heard Emma giggle. “And now I need to clean my face.”

“Looks good. On you.” Adrien laughed and Marinette rolled her eyes.

“Still a dork!” Marinette teased him and got up. “Let’s get cleaned up and leave.”

“Okay.” Adrien stood up and Emma giggled harder.

“You too, missy.” Marinette gave her a ‘mom’ look and Emma followed them to get cleaned up.

*******

“Is there anything you wish he would say?” Kagami crossed her legs and stared at Marinette with her file in her lap, open to take notes.

“Sure, there are tons of things I wish he would say but I can’t do anything about it.” Marinette shrugged.

“But if you could.” Kagami pointed her pen towards her.

“He doesn’t need to say most things. I know.” Marinette shrugged again.

“I know that you know how he feels about you or certain things, but it doesn’t mean that you don’t want to _hear_ him say it too.” Kagami smiled at her.

“You’re right,” Marinette sighed and fell back against the couch, grabbing a tissue to wipe her nose.

“So, what is something you wish he would say?” Kagami smiled.

“It’s stupid.” Marinette rolled her eyes.

“If there is one thing I know in life, it’s that nothing is stupid, Marinette.” Kagami got ready to jot it down.

“Fine… I wish that- I wish that he would call me bugaboo just once.” Marinette sighed and peered up to try and not burst into tears. “I used to _hate_ that damn nickname and now? Now I just want to hear it once. Even a pun. God, I’m hopeless.”

“Not hopeless, Marinette. In love. You want the old Adrien back and he’s getting there, but you miss him. I get it.” Kagami touched her knee. “Can I break my psychiatrist mode for a moment and talk to you as friends?”

Marinette nodded and sniffed, wiping beneath her eyes with a tissue.

“Okay. You and Adrien have loved each other a long time. And now that everyone knows you two were the famous heroes of Paris… it’s even more clear. You loved that man even before you were friends as Adrien and Marinette. You can’t erase that. You wanting him to call you all the silly little names he used to is valid. And one day, maybe he will call you bugaboo again or even m’ lady, but it’ll take some time.” Kagami smiled and sat back in her chair after patting Marinette’s leg.

“At least he still calls me Mari.” Marinette softly giggled and sniffed, wiping beneath her eyes with a groan.

“Well, there is that. See? Look at the light of every situation. You made your move, and he kept his target. The target has always been you Marinette. No one else. It still is. That man would sacrifice himself for you. You think he’s trying to off himself constantly for himself? No, it’s to rid the burden from you. He feels he’s a burden. Always has. But now that he needs help and can’t communicate as well? He feels even more so. He knows your hurting, Marinette. You know that better than anyone. He’s trying to ease your pain and if that means ‘going’ as you say he tells you. He’ll go.”

“That’s just it! I don’t want him to go! I want him to stay! I want him to just _be_ here. I don’t care if he never gets better or if he needs help. I love him and do what I have to. I just want him to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. For Adrien or Chat to be happy.” Marinette burst into tears, and Kagami wrote something down.

“He is happy with you, Marinette. Just not happy with the outcome.” Kagami sighed and Marinette nodded.

“I know.” Marinette hated to admit it, but she wasn’t wrong. “He’s frustrated. He’s sad. He’s traumatized. He’s-”

“A lot of things.” Kagami nodded.

“A lot of things,” Marinette sighed.

“One being, in love.” Kagami pointed out to her. “It’s not all rain. There are some stars in there somewhere, Marinette.”

“I know. I know that.” Marinette swallowed hard and grabbed another tissue.

“Kitty never left that man. Kitty has always been Adrien and Adrien has always been Kitty.” Kagami shrugged.

“You’re right.” Marinette smiled. “You know he said something the other day when he was having a really bad moment because I had screwed up and called him kitty.”

“I’m gonna stop you a moment.” Kagami raised her pen. “You didn’t screw up calling him Kitty. You can call him kitty. You’re afraid of calling him kitty because it pushes him. It’s his trigger, yes. But you’re afraid of it more than him.”

Marinette nodded. “I’m just trying to respect his boundaries, Kagami.”

“I know you are, but sometimes a little push is okay.” Kagami smiled. “Saying kitty isn’t the end of the world.”

“It hurts him, so I avoid it.” Marinette argued with her.

“And you. It hurts you to say.” Kagami pointed out. “Because of how he reacts to it when he’s awake.”

“Yes.” Marinette gave in.

“Now, what were you going to say.” Kagami went back to her notes.

“That I was Ladybug. I told him I wasn’t anymore, and he said no that I always was. He then called me _his_ Ladybug.” Marinette sniffed and blew her nose.

Kagami warmly smiled and nodded. “Marinette. You’ve _always_ been his Ladybug. Always. You can’t change that. You _are_ Ladybug, just as much as he _is_ Chat Noir. Just because you don’t have your Miraculouses anymore doesn’t make you two any less them. You are both still the heroes of Paris, whether you like it or not. So, you _are_ Ladybug. Always were and always will be. To him and all of the world. You can’t run from it and neither can he. No matter how hard he tries to block it.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Marinette sighed.

“Let him take his time. He’ll come back around. Although, I know you know that. He’s stubborn and persistent.” Kagami laughed.

Marinette burst out laughing, “You’re right.”

“I think that was good for today.” Kagami smiled.

“It was. Thank you.” Marinette nodded and got up, throwing her tissues away.

“We’ll meet up next week. Keep journaling. I think it’s helping.” Kagami winked at her and she nodded.

“Thanks.” Marinette left the office and got into her car to drive back to her parents’ place.

*******

Adrien laid in bed beside her and looked her over as she was lost in her journal. “How was?”

“Hm?” Marinette peered over at him with a curious expression.

“Therapy.” Adrien swallowed hard and searched her face.

“It was good.” Marinette smiled and leaned over to kiss him.

Adrien grabbed her hip with his hand and pulled her close, parting his lips against hers to deepen the kiss. She sighed and melted into him, wrapping her leg over his hips and forgetting the journal. He moaned and ran his hand around to grab her behind, rolling on top of her.

She peered up at him and ran her hands along his cheeks with a warm smile. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Adrien smirked and leaned down to brush his lips against hers and thrusted between her thighs.

Marinette watched him run his head down her body and settle between her thighs. His fingers slid up her thighs to hook his fingers around the elastic of her panties and tug them down.

He kissed along her pelvis and Marinette removed her legs from them. Adrien set them aside and wrapped his arms around her thighs to lick up her folds. He peered up to watch her arch her back as he covered her with his warm mouth. She gasped and sank her hand into his soft hair. She gently caressed his head as he lapped at her folds, taking one of her lower lips into his mouth to suck on it. He kissed over to do the same to her other one and Marinette spread her legs more for him.

She softly moaned and grabbed the sheets with her other hand as he flicked her clit with the tip of his tongue, bringing her to the edge. He wrapped his lips around it and sucked, licking it at the same time until she shivered and curled her toes.

“ _Adrien,_ ” she whispered and rocked her hips against his mouth. “ _So, close._ ”

Adrien smirked and slipped his finger between her thighs and curled it within her, working her with his mouth and finger until she came undone. She bit her hand to silence her moans as she came hard. He gave her one more kiss before crawling back up her body. She grabbed his bicep as he stumbled and smiled when he peered down at her with wet lips. She reached up with a giggle to run her thumb along his lips. 

He leaned down to kiss her, brushing his lips and tongue along hers, and causing her to taste herself on him. His hardened length brushed against the apex of her thighs and she kissed him harder, rolling her hips against his and using her feet to push his pants down.

He sprang free with a quiet groan and Marinette shifted her hips so that the swollen tip of his cock caught on her entrance. She gasped as he entered her, wrapping her arms and legs around him and biting his shirt. She pulled the fabric away from his skin and let it go with a snap from her teeth. Adrien sank his fingers into her hair and began to kiss her again.

His tongue and lips made her feel more connected to him, like their souls were intertwined in this dance along with their bodies. She felt closer to him and within moments they were both falling over the edges together and flying up to the stars.

No, he didn’t need to say he loved her. She knew he did. It was in the way he moved, the way he looked at her, the way he-

Adrien peered into her eyes with wonder and for a moment she swore she saw him. She saw her kitty. She saw Adrien. The old Adrien.

Tears pricked the corners of her eyes and he kissed each one that fell. “It’s okay.”

Marinette wrapped her arms around him and rubbed his back, gripping at anything she could and falling apart at his words. She was always his Ladybug. She was always his Marinette. No matter what. He was right, it was going to be okay.


	12. Danger

Marinette woke up, feeling beside her for Adrien and finding it empty. Her eyes burst open and she sat up in a panic.

“ADRIEN?” Marinette called and threw the covers from herself, taking off running through the house.

She checked every single room in their apartment, finding it empty of not just Adrien but Emma too. “ _Shit, shit, shit_.” She grabbed her hair and ran back to grab her phone.

She dialed Nino’s number in a panic. Her heart was racing in her chest and she couldn’t seem to make her breathing even. “NINO?”

“What’s up, Mari? I’m barely awake. Long night with Alya.”

“It was. What’s wrong, girl?”

“Am I on speaker? Whatever.” Marinette waved it off. “Is Adrien. or Emma. or both, with you?”

“No, why?”

“I woke up to an empty house.” Marinette chewed on her fingers.

“Fuck.”

“I know! Help me! What do I do? Where would he go? I’m so worried! What if he does something stupid? What if he gets hurt? Nino! Alya! Help me!” Marinette panicked and paced around their bedroom with her hand tugging on her hair.

“We’ll go out and look. You try and calm down. It’ll be okay.”

“Thanks.” Marinette hung up and went to call her parents, finding it to be a dead end too.

She suddenly looked at the calendar on their fridge and noticed what day it was. “Movie. The movie! His mom’s movie is showing today! Shit! He must have taken Emma to see it.”

She would normally find that to be the sweetest thing ever, but not when he got triggered so easily. He could have just told her that he wanted to go. She sighed and shook her head.

“That wouldn’t be very Adrien to do that. The man has to be free.” Marinette sighed and ran to where she hid the Miracle Box.

She had put it away to never use again. There was no need for it since Hawk Moth was gone and all threats were missing. She tried to remember the code but for the life of her, she couldn’t.

“C’mon Marinette, think.” Marinette closed her eyes and began to see the pattern, opening them with determination to punch in the button order.

The box rotated and split open, causing all of the compartments to bloom like a flower. Like a rose that Chat would have given her in the past. She reached out for her earrings with a trembling hand. She didn’t have time to question if she could do it or not. She clenched her eyes tightly shut and grabbed them, placing them into her ears.

A red light flashed and Tikki appeared. “Marinette!”

“Hi, Tikki!” Marinette giggled as the little red kwami hugged her cheek like old times.

“I’ve missed you.” Tikki squeaked and Marinette giggled harder.

“We can talk later. Adrien and Emma are missing, and I need to find them. I think he went to go see his mother’s old film.” Marinette watched Tikki nod with determination. “Tikki! Spots on!”

The red light took her over and she was left in a red suit with black thigh-highs and boots. Black gloves covered her hands to her wrists. Her waist was accented in a black corset and her hair was pulled back in a long ponytail with a long red ribbon. She licked her lips and pulled her yo-yo, opening it to look over the map.

She used her fingers to get closer, finding a blinking light. “Emma took her Chat Noir doll.” She smiled and closed her yo-yo, taking off from their balcony and swinging across Paris.

She had placed the ring into the doll after Adrien had tried to commit suicide in case something happened. It was something Marinette could track on her yo-yo if she ever needed to. Plagg was never far from them. From Adrien. He was always there all along. Closer than any of the others.

Ladybug cleared her throat and bounded across rooftops and threw her yo-yo one more time when she was on the roof of the theatre. “Got you.”

She swung down and landed, finding them walking along the side of the building. Adrien froze and his eyes widened as he stared at her. His hand dropped Emma’s hand and he looked like he was going to run. He booked it and Marinette grabbed Emma, scooping her up but it wasn’t Ladybug that stopped Adrien. It wasn’t Emma either.

Adrien skidded to a stop and was met with a familiar little black cat. He swallowed hard and walked backwards, hitting his back against a wall with his hands splayed out. His chest rose and fell in quick pants and his eyes dilated.

“No. No, he’s gone. No.” Adrien panted and watched the kwami’s ears fall with a saddened expression.

“It’s okay, Adrien.” Plagg tried to reach out for his old holder, but Adrien dropped to the concrete with his arms over his head and his legs curled up to his chest.

Plagg sighed and watched him rock back and forth, sobbing. “I’m sorry, Kid. You can’t run forever.”

“I can. I can. I can.” Adrien continued to sob and repeat himself.

*******

Ladybug stared at Emma and looked her over, “Where is little chaton?”

“Daddy has him in his pocket.” Emma shrugged and licked her sucker.

“Oh God.” Ladybug swung her yo-yo and took off to find him.

That was when she spotted him. It wasn’t hard to. He was locked with his kwami in an alleyway nearby. She sighed and dropped down, dropping transformation.

“I tried to tell him. I tried, Ladybug. I’m sorry.” Plagg apologized.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s okay.” Marinette dug out a macaron and piece of camembert, passing the kwamis it and watching them hide in Emma’s hair to eat. “Adrien?”

She crouched down beside him, and he peered up at her, sobbing. “It’s okay. Let’s go home. We can watch the movie together if you want.”

Adrien shook his head and hid further within his arms. Marinette sat down beside him, and Emma giggled as she danced around with the kwamis.

“You know I find it sweet that you wanted to take Emma to see the movie that your mother made. It’s important that she sees it. She was so talented. I didn’t become Ladybug because I wanted to scare you. I needed to find you and Emma. I was worried. And Plagg? Plagg just wanted to stop you because he loves and cares about you like we do. There is no emergency or danger, other than losing you. I’m- I’m scared of losing you.” Marinette sniffed and laughed at herself. “I suppose it’s silly. To be scared of losing you both. Then what would I do?”

“Not silly.” Adrien mumbled and sniffed, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “I’m sorry. Scared you.”

“It’s okay. You need freedom. I know that. I should have known what today was.” Marinette shrugged with a smile. “Do you want to go see the movie?”

“Can we?” Adrien raised an eyebrow at her and she nodded.

“Of course.” Marinette touched his chin and kissed his tear-stained cheeks.


	13. Parents

* * *

_I_ _think I had taken like five pregnancy tests before I fully comprehended that I was pregnant with Emma. Adrien was certain before I even did the first damn test. Silly kitty. He always knew stuff before I did. I guess that was something amazing about him. His ability to logically figure shit out. I wouldn’t have even tested if it wasn’t for him._

_I had been so scared. We were twenty-three and I had no idea what to expect, but he was so calm. It was like it was meant to be. He managed to make me see the bright side of it and his pure happiness of finally having his own little family made my heart burst. I had never seen him so happy. It was like for a moment, there was a light in the darkness. Our little light, Emma._

_I mean, we didn’t know it was a girl at the time, but I was pretty certain. For some reason, I always knew our little kitten would be a girl. I remember I kept telling him that it was one and he was so adamant it was a boy. To his surprise, the ultrasound proved the kitten was a she. But boy, had I never seen a prouder man. It was like nothing could bring him down. He was going to protect her little life with his no matter the cost. She was his princess. Well, still is his princess._

_I passed my due date and the night before they were going to bring me in to induce me, my water broke. I didn’t realize I had been having real contractions. I thought we had more time, but I had been wrong. Adrien had run around the apartment, gathering the suitcase and diaper bag to pack up. I was pacing and trying to remember my breathing, stalling to groan in pain before he’d pause and remind me to breathe._

_His hair was a mess from running his fingers through it and within a few more minutes, we were packed in the car and on our way to the hospital. We got checked in and pretty much within the next hour or so, Emma was born._

_She had a head full of pale hair and beautiful dark eyes. We fussed over who she looked more like and debated if she would get his eye color or mine. He had won that bet; her eyes were as green as his if not more._

_As she got older, she looked more and more like her daddy. She would follow him around like a little duckie. It was the cutest thing ever. Even now, she still does. He’s her world._

* * *

Marinette chewed on the end of her pen, leaning against the kitchen counter and thinking about what else to write. Emma ran into the kitchen in a frantic way.

“What’s wrong?” Marinette was suddenly yanked by her daughter to the master bathroom, dropping her journal and pen on the floor in the process. Fear flooded through her veins at what her daughter may have found, and she had never been more scared since the day she had found her fiancé in the tub.


	14. Miraculous

Marinette had miraculously gotten there in time. Okay that was lame, she even had to admit that, but it was true. Emma pointed at Adrien, who was standing at the bathroom sink with an open bottle of _Aspirin_ in his hand about to tip it back. It took Marinette a few moments to react, enough to run and grab his wrist right as the first pill was about to drop.

Adrien froze and panted as he realized he had been caught with them. He peered over at her with his mouth closed and swallowed hard.

“How many did you take? Did you take any?” She dumped the pills into the toilet and spun him around, looking him over. She reached up on her toes and gripped his chin, peering into his eyes to check his pupils. “Adrien?”

He blinked and suddenly shook his head, falling to the ground and breaking down. Marinette wrapped her arms around him, and Emma walked over to pet his head.

“It’s okay, Daddy.” Emma hugged his head and Marinette smiled.

“I know you think this is the easiest way out, but it’s not the best way to cope.” Marinette stroked his back.

“It’s not- not that.” Adrien sighed.

Marinette felt him pull away, and he stood up to flush the toilet himself, watching the pills spiral and disappear. “What?”

“You’re hurt-ing. My fault.” Adrien sniffed and walked over to place his hands on the sink, peering down into the porcelain before peering up at himself in the mirror.

Dark rings ran beneath his eyes and his expression was soulless. His hair was a mess and he clearly had lost a ton of weight. He closed his eyes, not wanting to look at himself and let more tears escape.

“I’m okay. Emma is okay.” Marinette pointed out to him.

“Yeah, I’m okay, Daddy.” Emma got up and ran over to hug his legs.

Adrien reached down to hug her with one hand. “I know. I’m not.” He looked up at the mirror and whispered loud enough for Marinette to hear, “ _I’m broken_.”

“Emma?” Marinette called their daughter and she let go of Adrien to run back to her.

“Yes, maman?” Emma bounced with her words.

“How about you go play with your dolls and give daddy and I a moment? Please?” Marinette smiled and brushed Emma’s hair behind her ear.

“Okay!” Emma ran off to her room.

Marinette groaned as she got off the floor and walked up behind her fiancé. She touched his chin and raised his head to look up at the mirror again. “You know what I see?”

“An idiot,” Adrien sighed with unamused eyes.

“No.” Marinette shook her head. “Gorgeous green eyes that remind me of the forest and fine emeralds. A smile that could light up a room. A man that has stood up proudly and done a lot of good. A strong man that protects his family and loves them with all of his heart. A smart, kind, loving, and amazing man that isn’t afraid of a little sacrifice for those he cares about. A man that always knew the right things to say. A man that is amazing at decisions and always brought me back down to Earth when I was up in the clouds.” She softly giggled at the last thing. “A handsome man that I feel so lucky to have in my life. An amazing fiancé and an even better father.”

Marinette grabbed his arm and spun him to face her and she reached up to touch his cheeks, making him lock eyes with her. “You, Adrien Agreste, are not broken. You’re not. You’re hurting and it’s okay because one day you’ll realize, it’s all better now. That you’re safe and are free to enjoy life. You’re finally free. And I am proud and amazed by you every damn day that I spend with you. And you know what? That little girl in the other room is lucky to have such a great daddy like you. No, you’re not an idiot. You’re a smart man. I may struggle and get frustrated, but I will never, _ever,_ give up on you and neither will that little girl because we love you and care about you.”

Adrien sniffed and clenched his eyes shut, letting tears fall. He leaned down to rest his forehead against her shoulder and she ran her fingers through his hair.

“You’re not broken. You’re honest.” Marinette turned her head to kiss him as his shoulders shook.


	15. Middles

* * *

_M M M M Ma Mar Marinette. Marinette. Marinette. Mari Marinette._

_I’m so sick of practicing writing, but here I am. At least I can write my fiancée’s name now. Thanks to Emma. Sweet Emma. I feel like hell for being such a burden. I’m always a burden. Always have been one. Damn, I can get my thoughts better down on paper than with my mouth. What is that shit? Sigh. Guess that’s what I get for what I did._

_Anyway, I was told to practice writing. So, here I am. Pretending to be fine. I fuck, what was I going to say? Shit. I hate this. Um… maybe if I stab this pen against the paper more I’ll remember shit. Damnit. Sigh._

_I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I let you all down. I_

_Oh my god…. Work brain. Wtf. Okay, focus. Focus on the task at hand. Paper and writing. Pen is in my hand. Let’s go… Write. Feelings and emotions._

_Yes, my brain does work when it wants to. Will my mouth obey my brain? No. Because why would it be that fucking simple. Sigh. I hate myself. Marinette could do so much better than me. I’m a loser. I should be committed. I don’t get why she cares so much about someone like me._

_That’s a dumb question. I should know the answer. I should, but I don’t understand it. I- ugh! I can’t stop blaming myself for making her life harder. I can’t stop blaming myself for not knowing my father was Hawk Moth. I can’t stop thinking about ways that I could have stopped him from doing all the damage he had if I hadn’t been so stupid. If I had figured things out sooner. I- I could have kept people from being hurt. He hurt so many people. Me included._

_How am I supposed to let- what if I become my father? I can’t do that to her. I have to save Ladybug. I have to save Emma and Marinette. I have to- My hand’s getting tired. I’m so tired._

_I haven’t had sleep in years. Not real sleep. Night terrors. It’s always the same. Over and over and over and over…. Spiraling and reliving the moments I found out about my father. Me as Chat Noir, trapped in that dark room with my mother beneath glass. Darkness and spinning. Spinning and spinning until I got dizzy. My fault. My fault. It was always my fault._

* * *

Adrien sat back from his desk and raised the pen, peering at it. He spun it in his fingers and got lost in the way the black pen shined beneath the light. He went to bring the pen to the paper again and growled, clenching it in his fist. It had been all his fault.

Everything that had gone wrong, was all him. He could have stopped it years ago. He could have been a good hero and caught the signs early, but he hadn’t. And because of that, so many had suffered at the hands of someone that shared the same roof as him. As one of Paris’s heroes.

He slammed the pen back to the paper and began to scribble self-hating words.

* * *

_I’m stupid. Worthless. Idiot. Asshole. Ugly. I should die. I don’t belong here. She can do better. I’m a bad father. I’m sorry. So sorry. I’m sorry._

* * *

Adrien threw the pen across the room, grabbed his hair and tugged, screaming, “SHUT- UP!”

He got up and kicked the chair away from himself and began to tear everything from the desk, trashing it and rushing around the room. Everything needed to go. Anything that reminded him of the old him needed to go. Anything to do with his last name, his mother, or father. Everything had to go.

He panted and screamed, tearing things from the shelves and suddenly ripping the clay lucky charm that Marinette had made him from his pocket. He clenched his teeth and huffed, screaming, and chucking it against the tile flooring of the kitchen. It busted and scattered into a million pieces and he fell to his knees and gripped his hair, bursting into sobs.

“Adrien?” Marinette burst into the room and thanked to high heaven that Emma was with Alya for the day.

She peered around at the mess and looked down at the title floor to see her bracelet in a million tiny pieces, recognizing the frayed ribbon.

“Adrien?” She slowly approached him and touched his shoulder.

“Don’t touch.” Adrien shrugged her off and panted.

“I’m sorry.” Marinette backed up and he sat back on his heels and swallowed hard. “I’m really sorry. I’ll clea-”

“No!” Adrien shook his head and Marinette froze.

“Adrien, I- I have to clean up the mess.” Marinette swallowed hard.

“I made. I clean.” Adrien sniffed and got up with trembling legs and she went to help him, but he glared at her. “Go.”

“Adrien, not today. Please no.” Marinette thought he meant what he usually did.

“Leave.” Adrien stared at her, making it very obvious that she wasn’t welcome anymore.

“Oh. Ok.” Marinette raised her hands and backed up. She walked down the hallway and went into a room but peeked down the hallway to watch him.

Adrien picked up something from the floor and threw it, “ _Motherfucker_.”

Marinette sighed and watched as he cursed himself through cleaning the room before sitting back down at his now cleaned desk. She watched him bring his cupped hands over the desk and open them to release tiny pieces of multi-colored clay. The last thing to fall was a familiar red string. She swallowed hard and sighed, realizing he had broken the bracelet.

* * *

_Great. Just great. Now I yelled at her and she probably hates me more now. I blew up at her. It’s not her it’s not her fault. It’s mine. Sigh. She probably hates me now. She probably thinks I’m a terrible person. God, let me die. Let me go to bed and never wake up. Let me go._

_This time I really did mean ‘go’ as in leave not like… ya know. Sigh. I don’t want to hurt her anymore. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I just want it to stop. Just make it stop._

* * *

“I don’t.” Marinette wrapped her arms around him and kissed the side of his head, causing his eyes to widen. “I don’t hate you. I don’t think you’re a terrible person.”

Adrien gripped the pen in his fist and set his jaw, “How?”

“You’re literally impossible for me to hate.” Marinette pressed her chin against his shoulder. She ran a hand down his chest, along his stomach, and back up. “I can’t love you any more actually. Well,” She shifted her head from side to side. “I could love you more.”

He groaned at her words and she chewed on her bottom lip. She pulled away and ran her hands beneath her breasts to lift them before raising up on her toes to put one on top of his head. “Freeze! You’re under a _breast_.”

Adrien suddenly snorted and she giggled, bending over dying of laughter with him. “Oh look! A laugh!”

Adrien rolled his eyes, and she grabbed his cheeks to purse his lips, making him laugh harder. “Hi, Hello. I’d like my dorky fiancé back, thanks.”

Adrien just stared at her and she chewed on her bottom lip, “You’re the _loaf_ of my life. I be _leaf_ in you.”

Adrien burst out laughing harder until he couldn’t breathe.

“You’re _sew_ cute!” Marinette giggled and squealed when he pulled her onto his lap and covered her in kisses.

Adrien stopped kissing her to look into her eyes with a soft smile full of love, “We make- the- _purr-_ fect- _pear_.”

Marinette smiled as her heart exploded and she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to kiss her again. She pulled away and smirked, “I _lava_ you.”

Adrien burst out laughing, “I- _tira_ -miss you.”

Marinette giggled and blushed, poking him on the nose. “You _whisk_ me off my feet.”

Adrien leaned in and gave her a dangerous expression, “You look- _radish_ ing.”

“ _Oh my- God!”_ Marinette burst out into hysterical laughter. “Hang on.”

Adrien let her go and she ran over near the front door to grab a black umbrella. She ran back over and suddenly opened it over his head. “I’ve got you _covered_.”

“Pfft, come here.” Adrien grabbed her hand that was holding the umbrella and yanked her into his lap again, kissing her beneath it, as thunder crashed, and lightning flashed through the room. He pulled away and nodded towards the umbrella. “You know. Bad luck.”

Marinette shook her head, “Not when I’m with my lucky charm.” She leaned in and kissed him again, dropping the umbrella when he wrapped his arms around her waist and squeezed her tightly.


	16. Professional

Marinette poured all of her attention into remaking the beads that she had made years… ago when they were kids. She knew he had been beating himself up over breaking his lucky charm bracelet. She finished the final bead and sat back, proud.

“There. All done.” Marinette placed them onto a tray to bake them in the oven.

Adrien shuffled into the room, running a towel through his damp hair. He stopped and stared at her, trying to understand what she was doing. He looked at the time and back at her.

“One hour.” Adrien sighed and Marinette nodded.

“I know. We’ll make it to your appointment, promise.” Marinette smiled and set the timer after putting the tray inside.

Adrien sat down and Marinette passed him a croissant and glass of water with his pills. “Have to?”

“Yes, please.” Marinette gave him a stern expression and he rolled his eyes.

He tossed his pills back and chased them with the water. Marinette smiled and took the glass from him as he nibbled on the croissant.

“You showered today.” Marinette smiled and walked up to him, grabbing the ends of his towel and yanking him down to kiss his cheek.

“I did.” Adrien sighed and kissed her on the lips before pulling away to eat the rest of his croissant.

“Do you want coffee?” Marinette reached up on her toes to grab two cups from a cabinet.

“I want chocolate milk!” Emma ran into the kitchen with her ballet outfit on.

“Okay, bug.” Adrien smiled and moved around Marinette to grab Emma a cup. He grabbed milk from the fridge and chocolate mix from a cupboard, making it for her. “Here, kitten.”

Emma gasped like it was the best chocolate milk she had ever been given and squealed, making Marinette and Adrien cringe. “Thank you, daddy! Best milk ever!”

Adrien shook his head and laughed as Marinette passed him a cup. “Here to recover from that.” Marinette giggled and hummed as Adrien took the mug from her to drink it.

“She’s… something.” Adrien chuckled and brought the hot coffee up to his lips.

“She’s all yours…” Marinette raised a hand and he gasped at her. She giggled harder and poked him on the nose. “I’m kidding, Adrien. Although, she gets it from you.”

Adrien looked at her like she had lost her mind and grabbed her around the waist to yank her close without spilling her coffee. He kissed the side of her head and she rolled her eyes when he pulled away to give her a look like he wasn’t the only one.

“Fine… she gets it from me too.” Marinette groaned and giggled as he let her go with a laugh.

The oven went off and Marinette slipped on oven mitts to pull the beads out. “There. Fixed.”

Adrien’s eyes widened as he stared at the very beads that he had destroyed. Tears welled in the corners of his eyes and a bittersweet smile fell onto his lips.

“Thank you.” Adrien warmly smiled. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It was fun remaking them honestly.” Marinette put them aside to cool and turned off the oven. “And now we can head out to your appointment and Emma’s ballet class.”

“Let’s go.” Adrien finished his coffee and followed her to grab Emma.

*******

His psychiatrist sat in his black leather chair with one leg crossed over the other. He tapped his ballpoint pen against the edge of the clipboard in his hand.

“Have you been writing like we talked about?” Luka peered over at Adrien, who was nervously picking at his jeans with his fingertips.

“Yes.” Adrien sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Hey, it’s beneficial for your occupational therapy and mental health to journal, Adrien.” Luka pointed out and cleared his throat. “Anything new come up lately that you need to talk about? Thoughts? Memories? Melodies?”

“Melodies?” Adrien raised an eyebrow.

“Mm-hm.” Luka set the clipboard down and picked up a keyboard. “Right now, I think you’re feeling a little like this.

Adrien raised an eyebrow at him again as he played a confused tune, causing Adrien to laugh.

“Really?” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“But you really want to feel like this.” Luka began to play this beautiful melody. “Wanna try?”

“You’re wrong. You know?” Adrien took the keyboard from Luka.

“Am I?” Luka picked up his clipboard and watched Adrien take a deep breath and close his eyes.

Adrien set his fingers on the keys and began to slowly play, _You Don’t Know_ by _Katelyn Tarver_ with a furrowed brow. Luka immediately recognized it and sat back to take note of it. He let Adrien get lost in the song with his fingers ghosting over the keys and Luka sighed.

Once he was done playing and tears were pouring down his cheeks, Luka spoke. He waved his pen around, “You should play that for Marinette tonight.”

“Haven’t touched- piano.” Adrien sighed and poked the keys more, messing with them more than anything else.

“I think it’s time you do. It’ll be good for you.” Luka warmly smiled and added, “For her too.”

Adrien nodded and sat back, exhausted. “We done?”

“We can be done.” Luka took the paper from the clipboard and put them into Adrien’s file. “I’ll walk you out to Marinette.”

“Thanks.” Adrien sighed, moved the keyboard from his lap, and stood up, following Luka out to the waiting room.

*******

* * *

_If I did do what Luka said to, would she even care. I- would she even want to hear me play again? Of course, she would. I’m an idiot. I’m so tired. That piano has been gathering dust for years. Just sitting there and mocking me, reminding me of the past. Of my mother. I- Can I even touch the damn keys if I wanted to?_

Adrien sighed and ran his hand through his hair, peering over at the black grand piano. Could he ever play it if he wanted to? He swallowed hard and went back to writing for a bit.

_My father always taught me to act professional in most settings. To sit up straight. To pretend like I was fine because it was the way of an Agreste. It was how I was expected to be. Perfect, balanced, strong, and well, professional at all times. Piano was both a curse to me and a way to get out my feelings. I hated it because my father was so judgmental of me missing a note or key, but I loved it because it could express so much._

_Am I ready to express that much?_

* * *

“Adrien?” Marinette walked out with two dresses. “Which should I wear tomorrow?”

He looked over the pink and black dresses, wondering which would look best on her. Both colors always looked amazing on her to him. He searched from one to the other in thought and she waited patiently. She was always so patient for him and it made his heart warm because no one else would have the ability to be that way with him. To give him time and space to slowly come back to her.

“Pink one.” Adrien softly spoke and then chewed on his bottom lip. “Sit?”

Marinette raised an eyebrow at him and watched him get up on trembling legs and walk over towards her. Her lips parted as he took the dresses from her and gently laid them over the couch.

“Where are you taking me?” Marinette felt his hand take hers and kept her gaze on him as he led her over to the piano in the room. “Are you?”

Adrien just nodded and had Marinette sit down on the piano bench. He weakly smiled and opened up the cover that was over the keys. Marinette sat beside him and watched him take a deep breath. He gently placed his fingers on the ivory keys and cleared his throat.

She blushed and covered her mouth as he began to play what he had for Luka. She watched him open up through the song, moving to the melody, as he played not only the music but the lyrics. He spoke through the piano and tears fell from her eyes as he stared at her, locking his saddened gaze with hers. She swallowed hard and leaned in to kiss him, feeling his lips brush along hers in an emotional kiss. She pulled away with a sniff and laid her head on his shoulder as he played the song more.

“Thank you. I missed you playing for me. And I think, I understand a bit better now.” She placed her hand on his thigh and rubbed it as he continued to speak through the song to her.

* * *

**I know you've got the best intentions**

**Just trying to find the right words to say**

**I promise, I've already learned my lesson**

**But right now, I wanna be not okay**

**I'm so tired, sitting here waiting**

**If I hear one more "Just be patient"**

**It's always gonna stay the same**

**So let me just give up**

**So let me just let go**

**If this isn't good for me**

**Well, I don't wanna know**

**Let me just stop trying**

**Let me just stop fighting**

**I don't want your good advice or reasons why I'm alright**

**You don't know what it's like**

**You don't know what it's like**

**Song in this:**

[ **You Don’t Know by Katelyn Tarver** ](https://youtu.be/BF-nZziUCCY)


	17. Social Media

* * *

_When my father was-sigh. When my father was arrested for being Hawk Moth, I shut down. I still am shut down. I don’t want to write about this. I don’t. I wanna run. I wanna just disappear. I don’t want to talk about this. Not even on paper. I spend days running from this. Okay, I can do it. Let’s- fuck, ok let’s talk._

_When my father was arrested, social media went insane. I mean they do regardless, but it was worse after that day. The Agreste name was raked through the mud and me along with it. I was getting death threats, hate, just asshole comments for days. Marinette knew how bad it was. She was seeing it too. She would try to take my phone from me so I wouldn’t read them. She knew me too well. Well, she knows me too well. I’m talking like she’s gone when she’s obviously not. They didn’t just go after me; they went after her. Something about that bothered me more. She didn’t deserve it._

_It really wore me down. Exhausted me. I started to think of ways that I could make it stop. No matter how many times I tried to explain… no matter how many interviews I accepted, and there was a shit ton, no one would listen. So, why talk. Pfft, even now. Why talk? Why try? Great here I go again, spiraling down an endless hole. Sigh._

_Anyway, eventually it seemed easier to try and end it. To off myself and falling asleep from pills sounded like the best way. I love Marinette and Emma. I do, but- but sometimes that’s not enough. Wow that sounds like an asshole thing to say. I hate myself. This is so stupid. What I mean is, my mind likes to play tricks on me. Likes to tell me in loops that everyone hates me and would be happier without me being there._

_The pain and pressure and shock of knowing what I knew. Of being related to someone like that made me afraid that I would end up like him. I didn’t want to bring that to Marinette or Emma. I didn’t want to be my father. So, this seemed like the logical way. Just end it. What was the point anyway? Who would miss me? I mean Marinette and Emma, yes. Maybe. I don’t know._

_I won’t lie what kept me from ending it sooner was the worry of them finding my body and having to deal with it. Shivers. The poor girl. She had sobbed over me, crying, and begging for me to still be living and-_

_I’m glad they brought me back to them. That they brought me back to life because I wasn’t supposed to go yet. Do I want to? Hell yeah. It’d be easier on her, but the more I see them- the more I see how little Emma stares at me with such love and wonder? The more I know it’s not my time to go. That it’s better than it was before I had them in my life, loving me and caring about me regardless of how I am or how I act._

_Damn, did I just have a revelation?_

* * *

Adrien sat back in his chair and licked his canine tooth in thought. “Damn.”

“What’s that?” Marinette walked over, stirring batter in a mixing bowl with Emma running around her.

“Nothing.” Adrien shook his head and closed the journal.

“You’re getting better at writing.” Marinette smiled and he smiled back.

“I am. I’m trying.” Adrien sighed and walked over to them. He picked up Emma and kissed her cheek a few times. “How’s Emma?”

“I’m good! How are you daddy?” Emma giggled as he tickled her.

“Good.” Adrien kissed her and hugged her tightly, making Marinette smile bigger than before. “What?” Adrien set Emma down to let her run off.

“Nothing, just that I love you so much.” Marinette walked over to hug him from the side and kiss him.

“Love you too.” Adrien kissed her once more.


	18. Lies

* * *

_If there was a mastermind of lying, it would be my father. Ha! Look I can laugh at it now. Somehow. Op never mind, there it is, the depression again._

_I don’t think there was ever a time that my father didn’t lie. Was there? I asked so many times if my mother was sick or if she was okay? She was constantly coughing for god knows how long and yet he continued to say she was just ‘tired’. Like Nathalie was just ‘tired’. You know she was on a vital machine at one point? Yet I was still being told she was tired? Really? Yes, because that made logical sense. I’m not an idiot._

_Oh god, revelation again. Sigh. Marinette is rubbing off on me now. Pfft. Silly girl. Sigh. How can she love someone fucked up like me? I’ll never know. How can she put her positivity into someone as negative as me either? I don’t understand._

_God…. I love that crazy woman. I swear she’d lose her own head if I wasn’t around. Haha She’s amazing and a true everyday Ladybug. But then again, she’s always been Ladybug. My bugaboo. Huh, I wonder what she would do if I called her that? She’d probably get mad at me like the old days. Haha._

_Won’t lie though, her pouting was always so damn cute. I’d do it just to get her to do that expression because my heart always felt like it would burst when I saw it._

* * *

A smirk fell on his lips as he heard her doing dishes behind him. He licked his lips and calculated for a moment before he let something pass his lips that he never thought he would ever say again just to get a rise out of her.

“Bugaboo?”

With one word, he heard the dishes clatter and one fall and break on the floor. He flinched and burst out laughing at her reaction.

“What did you say?” Marinette had her widened gaze locked on his as her breasts rose and fell, and her hand was clutching her pink apron. “Say it again.”

“Marinette.” Adrien sounded concerned about the shattered glass near her feet.

“No, no.” Marinette threw the dish towel from her shoulder and wandered over to him, placing her hands on his that were holding the arms of his chair. “You didn’t say Marinette.”

“Mari?” Adrien removed one hand from beneath hers to tap his chin.

“Okay, now you’re just being a little shit.” Marinette shook her finger at him, and he burst out laughing.

He grabbed her wrist as she was about to walk away and touched beneath her chin to raise her gaze to his. He lowered his eyelashes, and she did the same as she brought her lips close to his.

“ _Please say it_.” Marinette swallowed hard and he smirked.

“ _Buga-boo_ ,” Adrien whispered, and she closed the space between them, crashing her lips on his.

He yanked her into his lap, and she sank into him, kissing him hard and hugging him even harder.


	19. Truth

* * *

_Marinette. Marinette always was truthful with me. She never felt the need to lie. And Emma? Emma was the most honest person I knew. But I mean she’s a kid so. Haha Most are. Sometimes too honest. Damn. Haha Anyway, I wish that my father had been honest with me. It would have been less shocking when my mother had passed, but deep down I knew the truth. I knew that she was fading and fading fast. I just- I didn’t realize how fast._

_Why am I writing? I guess because it’s supposed to be good for me. Is that what they said? It’s supposed to help me. I’m still staring at these damn pills beside me. They just sit there, mocking me. Marinette put them there, but I don’t have the will or want to take them. Why am I like this?_

* * *

“Pills, please?”

Adrien looked up from his journal to see Marinette with her arms crossed over her chest and staring at him. He rolled his eyes and went back to writing.

“Adrien.”

* * *

_I don’t want to take them. They screw with my thoughts and make me feel weird and sick. Tired. I hate them. Who made these things anyway?_

* * *

Marinette sighed, “I can read what you’re writing. I know they suck, but they’re important.”

“Are they?” Adrien threw his pen down and crossed his arms.

“Daddy?” Emma walked up and crawled into his lap.

Adrien sighed and helped her to sit on him. “Yes, bug?”

“Take medicine to feel better?” Emma bat her eyelashes at him and he found it hard to resist his daughter.

She was too cute and innocent. Well, appeared to be. She wasn’t the most innocent kid in the world. She was good at using her big doll eyes to get what she wanted. Marinette fell for it all the time.

Adrien smiled and played with her pigtails, straightening them out. “Maman, do it?”

Emma smiled and nodded. “Maman made my hair all pretty!” She raised her hands up and giggled.

“It looks beautiful.” Adrien smiled and kissed his daughter’s cheek and hugged her.

“Hm?” Marinette picked up his pills and held them out towards him.

Adrien gave up and took them from her, tossing them into his mouth, before grabbing the glass of water to swallow them. He opened his mouth to prove he took them, and Marinette snorted as he teased her after by sticking his tongue out.

“You’re a dorkasaurus.” Marinette giggled and took his glass away.

“You are.” Adrien joked as Emma climbed out of his lap.

* * *

_Anyway. Truth. Marinette, whether she was Ladybug or Marinette? She was always honest. Even if it hurt. Maybe it’s my turn to be honest with her. I don’t know._

* * *

Adrien sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he placed his head in his hand, thinking.


	20. Bet

* * *

_“_ _I bet I could get to the Eiffel Tower before you.”_

_I don’t know why that came to mind randomly. She had raced me there though. That had been one of the most fun patrols we had. Well, in my opinion. I do remember shit. I just- I choose not to. Part of me wonders if this is just some weird thing in my head. Like I can do shit, I just- I don’t want to try. I don’t want to try and exist._

_I wish there was an easy way out of this. I wish that I could just wake up and everything was gone like it had never happened. Like I had never found out that my father was a villain, and my mother was in a glass life pod. And I- maybe I wish I could go back to where I had never been born. That would solve a lot of pain._

* * *

“Hey, wanna go out?” Nino poked Adrien’s shoulder and brought him out of his thoughts.

“What?” Adrien shut his journal and peered up at his best friend. “Where?”

“Arcade? Where else, dude?” Nino laughed and smacked him on the back.

Adrien peered over at Marinette giggling with Alya in the kitchen. “Mari?”

“She’s gonna chill with Alya and Emma. We’re going out.” Nino held his fist out and Adrien bumped it with his own.

“Fine.” Adrien sighed and got up to go get changed.

“Sweet!” Nino watched Adrien leave the room and Marinette excuse herself to take off after him.

“Hey. Are you going out with Nino?” Marinette smiled at Adrien as he went into the closet to grab clothing.

“Yeah, why not?” Adrien shrugged and reached over his head to tug his shirt off.

Marinette ran her gaze up and down his spine that was getting a little less visible. She warmly smiled and nodded. “What are you going to wear?”

“Black tee. Jeans?” Adrien shrugged on his black shirt and grabbed jeans from a drawer.

Marinette grabbed a pair of tennis shoes from a shelf and dropped them at his feet. “Those?”

“Thanks.” Adrien exchanged his black joggers for jeans and zipped and fastened them.

He grabbed the shoes and sat down on an ottoman to put them on. “Alya?”

“We’re going to watch movies and hang out.” Marinette smiled and Adrien nodded.

“Sounds fun.” Adrien gave her a weak smile and finished putting his shoes on.

He stood up and pulled his phone from his jogger pocket to put into his jeans. “Phone?”

“Got it.” Marinette took her phone out of her bra and shook it.

He burst out laughing and shook his head. “Not a pocket.”

“Gasp. It is the best pocket, sir.” Marinette teased him.

He laughed harder. “Yeah. So are my boxers.” Marinette’s eyes widened and he laughed. “Still got it.” He ran his index finger beneath her chin, leaning in to softly kiss her.

“Yeah. Yeah.” Marinette rolled her eyes.

“Bet?” Adrien pulled back to cross his arms over his chest.

“Bet?” Marinette raised an eyebrow at him.

“Mm-hm.” Adrien smirked at her and she became worried as to what it would be.

“Lay it on me. I give up.” Marinette sighed.

“I bet-” Adrien took a moment to think. She waited patiently as she always did, and it made him admire her even more. “-that you- can’t go- without- text me.”

“All night?” Marinette thought for a moment.

“Yep.” Adrien nodded.

Marinette whined and gave in. “What do I win if I do?”

“My mouth.” Adrien winked at her and she suddenly put two and two together, causing her to choke on her spit. Adrien burst out laughing. “Don’t die.”

Marinette gave him a serious expression and shoved him in the shoulder. “What do you expect me to do when you say shit like that?”

Adrien chuckled and shrugged. “I’m innocent.”

“Yeah, uh-huh. Sure…. you are. Dirty cat.” Marinette rolled her eyes.

“Yes?” Adrien waited for her to answer.

“Fine… if _you_ win then it’s my mouth.” Marinette giggled as he choked this time. “And… I’ll one up you.” She gave him a smug expression.

“Oh?” Adrien sat back with an interested expression and his arms crossed.

“Mm-hm.” Marinette placed a hand on her hip and leaned forward, wiggling her fingers. “My hand.”

If Adrien wasn’t functioning before, he definitely wasn’t now. Marinette giggled and walked up to him, placing her hands on his shoulders and leaning down to bring her lips close to his.

“I’ll spoil my amazing fiancé.” She winked and he suddenly smirked and yanked her onto his lap.

“If I ever-leave.” Adrien gripped her chin and brushed his lips against hers.

She parted her lips, and he dipped his tongue between them, running it along hers in a heated kiss until they both forgot what they were doing that night.

She broke the kiss and he whined. “ _Shit_. We need to go before they wonder.” Marinette giggled and climbed off his lap.

“Let them.” Adrien grabbed her wrist and yanked her back into a kiss, making her squeal.

Marinette smacked his shoulder and pulled away with his hands on her hips. “You’re so bad. We got to go. C’mon. Up you go.”

She pulled away from him and held her hands out. He took them and she yanked him up from the ottoman. “Besides, you got a bet to win.”


	21. Sunshine

* * *

_She had lost. But honestly, I knew she would. I don’t think she minded it though. I know I didn’t._

* * *

Marinette flicked him on the top of his ear with her finger, making him wince. 

“Ow. Rude.” Adrien laughed and rubbed his ear as she giggled.

“I’m rude…” Marinette teased him, and Emma ran over.

* * *

_You’re going to tell me that you didn’t enjoy last night?_

* * *

Adrien tapped at the sentence and Marinette shook her head and giggled as she hugged Emma. She wiggled her fingers for his pen, and he handed it over.

* * *

_I did. But I didn’t tell you that._

* * *

Adrien took his pen back to answer her so Emma wouldn’t know.

* * *

_You know we could… do it again tonight._

* * *

Adrien peered up at her and made heart-shaped hands at her with a cheesy smile like he used to as Chat Noir.

Marinette tried to hold back a giggle at his expression and action. She sighed and took his pen again.

* * *

_We’ll see, sunshine. ;)_

* * *

“Sunshine?” Adrien raised an eyebrow at her as he stole Emma and placed her in his lap.

“Your hair and smile always reminded me of the sun. Well and a yak, but let’s not talk about that.” Marinette blushed and Adrien burst out laughing. He grabbed the pen and wrote something.

* * *

_You do know that I only pulled away when you tried to kiss me as a statue because I didn’t want that to be how you found out I liked you, right? Not because I was scared or disturbed by you._

* * *

Marinette froze and he could tell she had read that line more than once to fully let it sink in.

* * *

_Like, I liked you and knew I did but- but I didn’t want you to find out while I was playing a joke on you. How messed up would that be? Bugaboo, I would have loved to be made in the same wax mold as you to be entwined for all eternity in a true love’s kiss. ;)_

* * *

Marinette swallowed hard and blushed harder, feeling embarrassed for saying something so silly.

“That was- I’m still embarrassed that you heard that.” Marinette giggled and hid in her hair.

“Said what?” Emma peered up between her parents with curiosity.

“Nothing, bug.” Marinette ruffled her golden hair.

* * *

_You do know that thing you said about the kiss also sounded dirty as fuck, right?_

* * *

Adrien smirked up at her and she gasped, shoving him in the shoulder.

“I’m no longer going to call you sunshine.” Marinette huffed and he laughed really hard.

“Oh?” Adrien smirked and Emma ran off to go play with something in the other room.

Marinette ran her arms around his neck and gave him a seductive smile, “I’m going to now call you, Máni.”

“Máni?” Adrien was even more confused by her.

“You know… the Norse literature’s personification of the moon. Brother of Sol, the Sun’s personification. Also, the supposed reason for the saying of ‘the man on the moon’.” Marinette teased and he rolled his eyes.

“Was never- a cinnamon roll.” Adrien winked at her and she burst out laughing.

“No, you were a damn dark chocolate truffle.” Marinette shoved him and walked away only for him to yank her back into his lap.

“You love it.” Adrien made sure Emma wasn’t watching and licked up the side of her neck and bit her pulse point, making a shiver run down her spine and a squeak pass her lips before a giggle.

He let her go and she stumbled before catching herself on a chair. Adrien softly laughed and went back to writing in his journal.

* * *

_I wonder how many times she thought about me not being innocent._

* * *

“I read that.” Marinette peered over his shoulder and rolled her eyes.

Adrien turned away from the desk and left his palm on top of it. “And?”

“Too many to count.” Marinette burst out laughing and walked away again to help Emma learn her dance routine.

“Show me later.” Adrien pointed at her with his pen and went back to writing.

Marinette giggled and shook her head, focusing back on Emma.

* * *

_Either way, I can see how my hair could remind her of sunshine, but I don’t understand how my smile could. Most of my smiles were fake growing up. How did she know when they were genuine? How did she know when I was genuine?_

_I need to tell her the truth. I need to tell her why I’m not trying or why I’m not talking much. I need to be honest and have a real conversation with her. I need to- Sigh, I need to not hide anymore. Plagg was right, I can’t hide._

* * *

“You can’t.” Plagg sat on his shoulder and threw camembert into his mouth, causing Adrien to nearly fall out of his chair.

“Plagg?” Adrien whispered as his heart raced.

Adrien peered down to see the black ring sitting on his thigh. He peered over his shoulder to see Marinette smiling at him like she was in on it. Adrien grasped the ring and took off to the master bathroom, leaving Marinette alone with Emma.

“Why?” Adrien threw the ring on the sink.

“You don’t want me gone, kid.” Plagg crossed his arms and floated around in front of Adrien.

He flew over to try and nibble on the faucet and Adrien growled, grabbing the kwami by the scruff of his neck and holding him still.

“You haven’t changed,” Adrien grumbled.

“And you still want me here, kid.” Plagg pointed at him and poofed from his fingertips to float in front of the mirror.

“How do you know?” Adrien crossed his arms over his chest.

“You wouldn’t be able to see me if you really wanted me to disappear. Last I checked,” Plagg pat down his body. “I’m still here.”

“Little shit.” Adrien caught the little black cat and stared at him hard. “You know nothing.”

“I know more than you think, kid. Trust me.” Plagg sighed.

“Enlighten me.” Adrien sat on the edge of the bathtub and waited for the kwami to speak.

“You shut down when you found out about your father. You took pills thinking that would solve it. That would end your life and make all of the years of pain go away and it didn’t work out in your favor. You survived. You regret that you even tried that tactic, kid. And you feel like you’ve always been a burden when in truth, you know that Marinette would never find you to be one. So! You let the depression and trauma consume you. You hid the pain and memories that hurt you the most behind locked doors and with it, your voice. You chose to not talk. You chose to stop speaking and once you do that for so long? It becomes hard to speak. The words don’t come out and you get frustrated because _you,_ my friend, did that to yourself. And when she wanted to help, when everyone wanted to help, they couldn’t. And do you know why, kid?” Plagg swirled around his head and paused in front of his face. “Because you can’t help someone that doesn’t want to be helped. You gave up. You let yourself drown and get lost in your negative thoughts. Let the depression and trauma consume you to the point that it had to come out somehow. In your case, night terrors. Where you were forced to deal with it head-on. Even when you didn’t want to. Chat Noir is so much a part of you that you still want me around because you still want that freedom as a _choice_. You need freedom. You need an escape for when things get ugly because a part of you still thinks it will. That this life is too good to be true. That Marinette and Emma are too good to be true. So accustomed to lies that you can’t believe anyone. Am I wrong?”

Adrien swallowed hard and panted as he got up and stumbled to the shower to place his hands on the chilled tile wall. He punched the shower on and let the cold-water rain down over his head, soaking his clothing without caring. He needed something to distract him from Plagg’s words. Anything to make it stop.

“Tell her, kid. Be honest.” Plagg sat on his shoulder and nuzzled his cheek.

“She’ll hate me,” Adrien sighed and let the tears fall down his cheeks, disguised by the water from the cold shower.

“She won’t hate you, kid. She said it herself. She can’t hate you.” Plagg sighed and watched him slid to the floor of the shower.

Adrien didn’t know how long he sat there with the water pouring down onto him, but he did know when Marinette burst in to find him like that.

“Oh my God, Adrien!” Marinette kneeled in front of him and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Adrien shivered and peered up at her with saddened eyes ringed in shadows and red with irritation. “We need to talk.”

“Okay, but first let’s get you all warmed up and dry.” Marinette touched his face and kissed him a couple times on his quivering lips.

Adrien nodded and let her help him up from the ground. “One more thing.” Adrien stopped her a moment.

“Hm?” Marinette grabbed a towel to wrap around his shoulders.

Adrien grasped the edges of the towel and shivered, “Find someone- to watch- Emma tonight.”

“What? Why?” Marinette raised an eyebrow at him.

“Please,” Adrien begged, and Marinette nodded.

“Okay.” Marinette nodded with a weak smile.


	22. Courage

Marinette pulled up to her parents’ boulangerie and Adrien followed her to take their daughter up to the apartment. Marinette and Adrien put on a fake smile for her parents as they dropped Emma off with a bag of her toys and necessities. They told them bye and kissed Emma goodnight before they left.

Adrien followed her down the long staircase and sighed as he kept his hand in his pocket and held onto the railing with the other. He chewed on his bottom lip and played with his Miraculous in his pocket. Adrien took a deep breath in and let it out, slipping the ring onto his right ring finger.

A bright green light flashed behind Marinette and made her freeze on the stairs and nearly trip. A gloved hand grabbed her wrist and if she wasn’t going to cry before, she did right then at the familiar texture of his suit.

“M’ lady?” Chat’s voice was the sweetest thing she had ever heard. That word alone made her gasp and swing around to wrap him up in her arms and sob against the familiar sharp scent of his leather suit.

“I’m so sorry, princess.” Chat hugged her back and lifted her up to carry her out of the boulangerie.

He leaped up to take her across Paris and away so that they could talk. He needed to be honest with her. He needed her to know the truth, even if it made her leave. Even if he lost the last two good things in his life. He had to do it. Plagg was right.

Chat Noir landed on the Eiffel Tower and set Marinette down. She sniffed and kept her arms around him as he let her feet touch the ground.

“Princess?” Chat gently tried to pull her from his body. “Hey.” He tried to get her to let him go, but she wouldn’t. She was stuck to him and wasn’t letting him go. “Mari?”

“No. Just- just let me have this. God, let me have this.” Marinette sobbed and sniffed against his soft suit.

“Okay.” Chat sighed and wrapped his arms around her and just held her, gently running his claws along her back.

“Okay. I’m fine.” Marinette sniffed and pulled away to wipe the tears away. “God, I probably look so gross to you.” Marinette giggled and rolled her eyes at herself, wiping the snot from beneath her nose.

“No, never. You’ve never looked more beautiful.” Chat unzipped his pocket and passed her a handkerchief with a monogrammed ‘A’ on the corner of it.

Marinette took the handkerchief and playfully shoved him. “Yeah, right.”

“Come here.” Chat softly laughed and wrapped her up in his arms again.

Marinette burst out into tears again, pressing the soft handkerchief against her quivering lips. “I miss- missed you- so much, kitty.”

“I know, bugaboo.” Chat sighed and rocked her back and forth. “I know.”

“Why did Emma need to miss this?” Marinette peered up at her fiancé and sniffed.

“Let’s sit down.” Chat took her hands and led her over to sit against a beam.

Marinette nodded and sat down beside him. He was about to call his transformation and she grabbed his hand to stop him. “No, please. Little longer.”

Chat nodded and brought her hand to his lips, gently kissing her knuckles. “As you wish, M’ lady.”

“What is it?” Marinette searched his cat eyes and watched him weakly smile.

“I- you’re going to leave.” Chat lost his courage and peered down at his lap.

Marinette touched beneath his chin and turned his head to face her. “No, I won’t leave. No matter what it is, I won’t leave.”

“You will.” Chat searched her gaze with the corners of his lips turned down in a frown. “You’ll run.”

“No, no I won’t.” Marinette argued and grabbed his hands, bringing them up to her lips to kiss them repetitively. “I won’t leave you. I love you too much to leave.”

“When I- when I found out about my father. I shut down.” Chat swallowed hard and played with her hands.

“I- I know that, Adrien.” Marinette sighed.

“I know you do, but- but do you know that-” Chat swallowed hard and let go of her hands to bring his knees up and grip his hair in frustration. Loathing himself over and over again in his head.

“Hey,” Marinette grabbed his hands to release them from his hair. “It’s okay. You can tell me.”

Chat took a deep breath and pulled his hands down. “I wanted to tell you. I wanted to- I wanted to be honest. You’re always so honest- and-”

Marinette was taken aback by how well he could talk now. She swallowed hard and waited for him to tell her.

“You know how- how when- when you stop talking- for a really long time- and-” Chat peered over at her with tears running down his mask. “-and the words just- just don’t come out anymore. It’s been so long that- that they get stuck. And then- and then you wonder- will anyone care? Even if I did speak- would anyone care?”

Marinette sniffed and threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly as he continued to talk and spill everything.

“I- I shut down and decided that not talking- would be- easier. That ending my life- would be easier. That- it was a mistake. I made a huge mistake taking those pills. I made a huge mistake not talking. I made a huge mistake- Marinette, I’m- I’m so sorry.” Chat burst out into sobs, and she only hugged him tighter.

“You can’t fix someone that doesn’t want to be fixed.” Marinette pulled away and ran a hand down the side of his face. “You can’t make someone do what they should to get better. They have to make that choice. _You_ had to make that choice.”

“I never gave up on Plagg. I shoved the trauma- behind locked doors- and they spilled- into night terrors. I wanted the pain- to go away. Years of trauma and pain- years of feeling like I was a burden and not good enough. Years of- being-” Chat couldn’t continue.

“Unloved.” Marinette weakly smiled and brought her forehead to his. “Unwanted, abandoned, unloved, scared, guilty, sad, anxious, depressed, and feeling broken. Like it had all been your fault.”

“Yeah.” Chat shivered and she nodded.

“So, you hid inside yourself to the point that you didn’t function.” Marinette swallowed hard.

“Didn’t want to. Didn’t see a point. Lost in looping negative thoughts. Scared.” Chat Noir sniffed and Marinette kissed him. “Are you mad?”

“No because I would act the same. I felt the same in some way, but I didn’t let it drown me.” Marinette sighed and sat down beside him. “Kagami actually helped me look at the positive every session because I couldn’t. For the one time in my life? I couldn’t see the happiness.”

“I’m really sorry.” Chat sniffed and Marinette shook her head.

“Now, we just heal. That’s all we can do. We work through this and help boost your trust level with me.” Marinette shrugged and bumped her shoulder against his. “We’re a team, right?”

“You still want to marry me?” Chat sniffed and smiled at her as more tears fell.

“I said rain or shine, I’d still want to marry you. It’s not like you really didn’t damage your brain, kitty. It’s just- nothing is simple, is it?” Marinette smiled and leaned over for a kiss.

“Nothing is simple,” Chat sighed and closed the space to brush his lips against hers.

**Song I wrote to:**

[ **Consequences by Camila Cabello** ](https://youtu.be/k73EBmeJ950)


	23. Quiet

* * *

_Marinette had asked her parents to watch Emma all day today. And I couldn’t have agreed more with that decision. Really couldn’t._

* * *

Adrien ran his hands through her hair as he was settled between her thighs. He placed kisses along each corner of her lips, her cheeks, her eyelids, the tip of her nose, and lastly her full lips. She softly hummed and parted her lips against his as he brushed them along hers in a loving kiss. She giggled and rolled him onto his back, straddling his hips and rolling hers to take him again.

A groan passed his lips and he chuckled as he ran his hand behind her neck to pull her down into another heated kiss. She got lost in the way his lips and tongue brushed along hers and made her thoughts go away. He rolled her back beneath him and hugged her, kissing down to bring one of her peaked nipples into his warm mouth. He moaned in time with her as he thrusted his hips in a slow rhythm and teased her with his lips and tongue.

She arched her back and wrapped her legs around his hips, digging her nails into his bicep and pec after he came back up to peer into her eyes. She rolled her hips with his and ran her hands up to sink into his damp hair, soaked from hours of love making since they had come home from the Eiffel Tower. She gasped and brought his lips close to hers as she whimpered and focused on how her body trembled on the edge of release.

“I love you,” Marinette whispered and gasped again.

“I love you too, princess.” Adrien titled his hips and she burst, crying out against his kiss, and he silenced her with his tongue.

She moaned and rocked her hips against his and soon he let go, cumming with his face buried against her neck. She gripped at his back and dragged her nails along his skin, leaving behind red lines that would remind him of her later.

They panted and he just laid there, holding her and placing kisses along her face, neck, and shoulders. He marked her and made her know that she was always his and it would never change. That he would never leave and that he had made his choice. And that choice was her.

**I wrote to this:**

[ **Run to You by Lea Michele** ](https://youtu.be/D2C96iZHObk)


	24. Complete

* * *

_I feel more complete now than I ever have before. I feel relieved and like something heavy has been lifted from me. Like I have been purified like an akuma and can finally be set free. All thanks to Plagg, Marinette, Emma, and my doctors. But most the credit goes to those three. Sigh. I no longer need to write in this shit, do I? I guess I still should. Luka says it’s good for me._

* * *

“Emma has her recital in thirty minutes and for the life of me I can’t get her to put her damn shoes on.” Marinette slapped her hand on her thigh and her other one on her forehead.

“I got it.” Adrien shut his journal and ran over to grab Emma as she went to run for it. “Get her!” Adrien yanked her up and wrapped his arms around her, attacking her with kisses as Marinette quickly slipped her shoes onto her kicking feet.

“Thanks.” Marinette giggled and caught her breath.

“Releasing the mouse.” Adrien let her go and Emma squealed and ran away.

“Emma, come on! Time to go!” Marinette called for her and Emma came back into the room with her Chat Noir doll in her arms.

“You’re going to be one of the best butterflies there.” Adrien leaned down to poke his daughter on the arm.

Emma giggled and squealed as she took off to the front door, while Marinette grabbed her dance bag.

“Lord, help us for when she gets older.” Marinette sighed and grabbed her purse.

“Oh…” Adrien wrapped an arm around her shoulder, kissing the top of her head. “We’ll survive. We always do.”

Marinette rolled her eyes and laughed. “Let’s go. We’re running late.”

They headed over to her dance recital and took their seats. Adrien took her hand and kissed the back of it. Marinette leaned her head against his shoulder and rubbed his arm.

Adrien leaned over and kissed the top of her head as the show started. His eyes lit up with pride as he watched his daughter dance across the stage. Her ballet slippers seemed to glide along the stage and for a moment, he saw her mother. He saw Ladybug gracefully fighting and dancing along the rooftops of Paris. Emma wasn’t just him but was exactly like her mother. Strong, fearless, creative, and above all, talented.


	25. Banter

Marinette sat in the bedroom hand-sewing white rose appliques onto her wedding gown. She had designed it to be a cream white that had a powder pink tone. The bodice was off the shoulder with draping short-sleeves and a sweetheart neckline to die for. The skirt flared out from the waist and pooled along the floor.

She was hiding in the bedroom working on it while Adrien was in the other room, writing in his journal. She stuck her tongue out as she worked with the silk thread to sew on the roses where she wanted them to go on the bodice and skirt. Emma was sitting beside her, humming, and playing with one of her dolls. She was busy brushing her hair and singing a song.

A knock sounded at the door and Marinette panicked. “Wait!”

“I wasn’t going to peek, I swear.” Adrien appeared with his forearm over his closed eyes.

“Uh-huh… sure. I know you, sneaky kitty.” Marinette crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re not supposed to see until I’m walking down that aisle.”

“I can _knot_ wait to marry you, m’ lady.” Adrien teased her and she burst out laughing.

“Da…ddy…” Emma picked on him for being so silly.

“ _Cantaloupe_ without my man.” Marinette chimed in and Emma giggled along with Adrien.

“Marriage has a nice _ring_ to it.” Adrien smirked and turned to face away from them so he could relax his arm down at his side.

“Don’t tell me that when you get to the vows you’re going to say, I _dough._ ” Marinette rolled her eyes thinking of how that one would be a good one for her papa to use.

“Nah, probably more like holy _cat_ rimony or just _meow_ ied.” Adrien winked and Marinette groaned.

“You’re a dork, but I love you anyway.” Marinette sighed and got up to put her dress out of sight again. “You can turn around, Adrien.”

“ _Meow_ and _furr_ ever.” Adrien purred as he turned around to look at his little family, and she rolled her eyes.

“You know, I thought I missed your puns.” Marinette crossed one arm over her chest and gestured with her hand.

“But…” Adrien raised an eyebrow at her.

She walked up to him and gently touched his cheeks with a teasing expression, “I didn’t.”

“Lies!” Adrien chased after her as she walked out of the room.

“You’ll never know…” Marinette sang, and he caught her wrist.

He yanked her back and she squealed, tripping on her own feet as she caught herself with her hand on his chest. His lips covered hers as he tipped her back, kissing her.

He pulled away with a genuine smile, “Looks like the cat caught the bug.”

“Get- outta… here.” Marinette shoved him with a giggle and wiggled free, taking off through the apartment.

Emma giggled and chased after them, enjoying the time with her parents as they ran around the house being silly.

**Song I wrote to:**

[ **Marry You by Bruno Mars** ](https://youtu.be/dElRVQFqj-k)


	26. Confession

* * *

_I had been so nervous when we had confessed our feelings after we had found out about our identities. I had never been so scared, actually. It was like after years of hiding my feelings from Marinette and not Ladybug, even if I was beneath a suit that used the theories of quantum mechanics, I was wide awake. I had let my feelings for Ladybug cloud my feelings for Marinette, when they were the same girl. It’s funny because I knew she was so many times, but something made me conveniently forget each time or made me pull away from it._

_I should have just kept believing it. I really should have seen that she was never with Luka. I should have- Like Kagami said, I never changed targets. I couldn’t change targets. Marinette had always been my target and always would be my target. There was never another goal or girl that I wanted. Even when Kagami had confessed, I couldn’t say yes. I couldn’t pick anyone over Ladybug or Marinette. I couldn’t place anyone in that empty slot of my heart that was already full. It was always there, made perfectly for one puzzle piece, and that was Marinette. No one else could be there. No one else belonged there but her._

_She had knitted herself there and I wasn’t going to rip her out. She deserved to be there, and I was a damn idiot for wanting to run from her. For friendzoning her for years and for hurting her a few times as a dumb kid._

_So, the day we confessed? It was full of tears, laughs, and rolling eyes. Hours of nervous kissing and holding hands. Hours of words and apologies. Hours of a lot of things. And in the end? We had chosen to be together. Then, she got pregnant with little Emma and it was like my world had turned upside down again. Like the day I had first met Ladybug, everything seemed brighter._

_Emma made everything bright again._

_That is until that little flicker of light went out because the inner storm within me had been brewing for far too long, consuming me, until it took over and that little light went out. And I? I was left in complete darkness, which is a scary place._

* * *

Adrien sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he heard Emma giggling and screaming. She was running around with Nino, being chased and tickled until she couldn’t breathe. Adrien suddenly smirked as he felt Emma being placed on his shoulders and heard her giggling. He shut the journal and stood up, holding her legs and running her around the apartment.

Marinette burst out giggling as she walked out of the bedroom to find them playing around with her daughter. “Both of you are like a bunch of kids!”

Nino burst out laughing and ran up to her, grabbing her and picking her up. Marinette squealed and burst out giggling as Nino tickled her and made her have fun with them.

“Okay! Okay! I give up!” Marinette screamed and Nino put her down and she ran over to catch Emma after Adrien put her down. “Our neighbors are going to hate us.”

“What’s new?” Adrien laughed, catching his breath with a smile on his face.

“Where is Alya?” Marinette smiled at Nino.

“She’s at an interview with some mogul of some sort.” Nino shrugged and Adrien caught Emma again.

Adrien flipped Emma upside down and lifted her to blow a raspberry on her side, causing her to wiggle and squeal. She screamed and Adrien set her down, laughing, “Alright, alright. No more screaming. We’re going to get a noise complaint.”

“Lord knows we have enough of those.” Marinette rolled her eyes with her hands on her hips.

“You guys should get a house in another city, ya know?” Nino played with his hat.

Marinette peered up at Adrien and he shrugged. “We could.”

“I have money tucked away. We could do that.” Adrien licked his lips.

“A small house?” Marinette searched his gaze.

“A small house would be nice.” Adrien warmly smiled at her as he thought about a nice warm home that was full of things that reminded him of Marinette and Emma. “I’d really like that.”

Nino chuckled and shook his head, “You two are hopeless, my dudes. Alright, I’m out. See ya!” He fist-bumped Adrien before he left.

“See ya, Nino.” Adrien raised his hand to wave.

“So…” Marinette walked up to Adrien with swaying hips and played with his black button-down shirt. She slowly peered up at him. “A house?”

“A house.” Adrien sighed and leaned down to gently kiss her.


	27. Reveal

* * *

_How did the reveal go? Uh… I’m trying to remember how it happened. Did Marinette ever say how it happened? Do I remember how? Damnit._

* * *

“Mari?” Adrien spun around in his chair, finding the room empty.

He pushed away from his desk and wandered through the apartment until he found her. She was passed out on the side of Emma’s bed with her Ladybug doll in her hand. Emma was sound asleep in her bed with Chat Noir in her arms.

Adrien softly laughed and walked into the room, “Alright, princess. Come on.”

He crouched down to take the Ladybug doll from her hand, getting up to put it away. The only thing Marinette had done was mumble. He shook his head and walked back over to pick her up with one arm beneath her knees and the other one behind her shoulders.

“Mmm…” Marinette complained as he lifted her from the floor.

“You can’t sleep on the floor.” Adrien quietly laughed and carried her out of the room. “Your backs going to kill you.”

“Mer.” Marinette slightly smacked him in the chest, and he laughed.

He moved the comforter away on their bed and laid her down on the bed. Adrien removed her ballet flats and put the blanket over her. He walked back to Emma’s room and pulled her blanket from beneath her to tuck her in.

“Goodnight, love bug.” Adrien kissed her temple and Emma mumbled and slowly opened her eyes.

“Daddy?” Emma peered up at him.

“Yes, baby?” Adrien sat on the edge of her bed.

“Story?” Emma gave him big eyes and a tired pout.

Adrien sighed and laughed, “I still struggle to read, but…”

Emma shook her head and held up Chat Noir. “Story?”

“Ah, okay.” Adrien nodded and got up to grab Ladybug.

Adrien groaned as he sat down on her bed again. “Alright.” He held out his hand for Chat and Emma passed him it. “You want the story of maman and daddy?”

“Yes, please!” Emma became excited and sat up.

“Aht! Only rule I have is that the kitten needs to stay snug as a bug.” Adrien gave her a stern look and she giggled and laid back down, wiggling beneath the blankets. “There we go.”

“Tell me it.” Emma yawned and he smiled.

“Okay.” Adrien made Chat walk across the air. “There I was, getting the hang of my powers. When suddenly something red came hurling through the air, headed straight for me!” He made the Ladybug doll tumble through the air and collide with Chat. “Her yo-yo got tangled around us and luckily caught on my staff.”

Emma giggled, “Clumsy maman.”

“Clumsy maman.” Adrien softly laughed with her.

Marinette peeked from the side of the doorway, watching and listening to Adrien tell their story with both of the dolls to their giggling daughter. Her heart felt like it was going to implode from how cute it was. She walked away to the bedroom.

Not long after she had gotten back into bed, Adrien had walked into the bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed and smirked, “You heard all of that, didn’t you?”

“Nothing gets past you.” Marinette rolled over to smile up at him.

“Nope.” Adrien winked at her. “I was looking for you, but then found you passed out beside her bed.”

“I got tired.” Marinette softly giggled. “What did you need?”

“I can’t remember how we revealed our identities.” Adrien sighed and gripped his journal. “I wanted to write about it but couldn’t remember.”

Marinette sat up and warmly smiled at him, “We didn’t have to.”

“What?” Adrien raised an eyebrow at her.

She giggled and brushed his hair to the side. “We already knew.”

“How?” Adrien swallowed hard.

“You really think quantum mechanics can hide it that well? Once I started showing you more of who I was as Marinette? That was it. I mean once I could talk around you without sounding dumb.” Marinette rolled her eyes.

Adrien shook his head and gripped her chin, “You’re not dumb.”

“You told me who you were first.” Marinette sighed.

“Sounds about right.” Adrien laughed. “I’d eventually crack.”

“I was mad, but… then I was relieved. It was hard at first to think that you had been behind all those silly puns and jokes.” Marinette giggled and shoved him.

“Freedom.” Adrien shrugged and laughed.

“I’m glad that you were my _Chaton._ I wouldn’t want it to have been anyone else.” Marinette sighed and leaned over to gently kiss him.

“I’m glad you were my wonder bug.” Adrien kissed her back and ran an arm around her waist to pull her closer.


	28. Heartfelt

* * *

_Marinette has been finishing up her wedding dress all day. She’s been hiding in our room since we came back from all of my doctor’s appointments. I’m getting better and started talking more to my psychiatrist than before. Which he’s impressed that I finally came out of hiding. I’m getting better at a lot of things and this new medication is helping me more than the others. The side effects are also minimal which has made me happier. God, I hated the side effects of the last ones._

_I don’t think I’ve tried to off myself in a while. I have begun to see that Marinette wasn’t lying to me. That my life is better and my father being in prison meant that I would never see him or Nathalie again._

_Our wedding is tomorrow, and I thought I would be sad about my father not being there, but honestly, I’m not. I’m not upset that he’s not around. I am upset that my mother isn’t here to see it. She would have loved… Marinette. Actually, I should be getting ready right now because Nino and the guys are coming to abduct me. Shit._

* * *

Adrien got up to go get ready to go out. It took him forever to pick something out and by the end of it, Marinette had ended up throwing something at him to wear. A silk black shirt with the top two buttons undone to show off his collarbones and fitted dark jeans. She threw nice ankle boots at him and a watch. Lastly his phone and she hung black aviator sunglasses on the button panel.

They had spent the rest of their time taking Emma to her parents’ house so that they could watch her for the night, while they went out to celebrate their last night of being unmarried.

Nino, Ivan, Max, and Kim walked into the apartment when Marinette opened the door. The girls followed in behind them to steal Marinette. Nino came over and clapped Adrien on the shoulder.

“Ready to go have some serious fun, my dude?” Nino winked at him and Adrien laughed.

“I guess.” Adrien sighed and was headed out the door when Marinette grabbed his shirt and yanked him back. He stumbled and she giggled, catching him.

“Sorry,” Marinette giggled and spun him around.

He peered down at her and swallowed hard as he took in her skintight red dress. She held up her hand, full of euros.

“You’re gonna need this, hot stuff.” She winked at him and used her fingers to flick a few out before folding them and running them up his body to tuck them beneath his shirt.

She ran her hands down his body as she crouched down to slip some beneath his belt and Adrien swallowed hard again, trying to remember how to breathe. She slipped a few more in his pockets, before grabbing his pants to spin him around. Her fingers ran along his body as she stood back up and stuck the rest in one of his back pockets before smacking his ass.

“Have fun!” Marinette grabbed his wrist and spun him back around to reach up on her toes and kiss him. “See you later tonight, fiancé.”

Adrien blushed and Ivan burst out laughing with a “Damn…. Marinette.”

Marinette shrugged and Adrien cleared his throat, gathering the euros from where she had placed them. He straightened them and folded them into his wallet. She walked over to stand beside Mylene, Alya, Juleka, and Rose.

“Subtle.” Alya burst out laughing and Marinette giggled with a blush.

Adrien was shoved out the door by the men, and Marinette giggled with her friends. She sighed and turned to her friends, “So, now what? Watch movies and hang out?”

“No, no we have more fun things to do than just sit around and talk, girl.” Alya shoved Marinette towards the door while one of the other girls grabbed her purse for her.

“What? Wait.” Marinette argued before giving in to them taking her out to have fun.

*******

Adrien was led into a strip club by his friends, who opened a tab to start a round of drinks. They ordered theirs and he turned a drink down because of his medication. He ended up just grabbing water instead. They took him over to a booth that they had paid for for the night. He sat there and sipped his bottle of water as music boomed and vibrated everything around him.

Women in lingerie danced on stages and some spun around poles in elegant ways. He watched them and Max shoved him in the shoulder.

“How have you been?” Max spoke over the music and Adrien shrugged.

“I’ve been good.” Adrien didn’t know what else to tell him.

A woman in red almost immediately walked up to their table, swaying her hips with a smile on her dark red lips.

“How about a dance?” She winked at Adrien and he was about to decline when Nino answered for him.

“He’d love one.” Nino tossed the woman some euros and Adrien burst out laughing. “Look it’s your one night of freedom! Live a little, dude!”

Adrien ran his hands down his thighs, grabbed his jeans, and adjusted them as he relaxed more against the couch. He raised a hand and wiggled his fingers to gesture for her to come over.

The girl smirked and walked over to him in her tall platform heels with swaying hips. She slowly ran her hands down her body from her pushed-up breasts to her thighs as she bent down to touch his thighs.

She peered up at him with sapphire hued eyes and slowly swayed her hips. He watched her ass make a figure eight pattern a few times before she stood up and ran her hands up her body to be above her head. She clasped her hands and popped each hip one side at a time before rolling her hips like she was riding a dick.

She spun around and slowly ran her hands down her body to show her ass to him, slowly swaying her hips back and forth before shaking them fast. She body rolled back up and sat on his lap, bringing her hands behind herself as she grinded against his lap. Adrien kept his hands on the seat and spread his thighs for her. He peered down to watch her ass do circles against his lap. A smirk fell on his lips as she shook her ass and got up to turn around. She straddled his thighs and grabbed his head, placing his face between her breasts. She shook them and he laughed as she suddenly shoved his head back and away from her.

His friends all cheered and drank around him as the girl placed her hands behind herself on his knees and rolled her body for him like she was riding him. Adrien pulled euros out and began to shove them into her red bra and panties.

She giggled and winked at him as she finished his dance and thanked him for a good time before getting up and walking away.

“Damn, dude!” Kim hollered and laughed.

“Shit, man!” Nino burst out laughing.

Kim yanked Adrien up off the couch and dragged him to one of the stages. A woman swung around the pole to the floor and crawled towards Adrien. She smirked and rolled onto her back, bending her knees and lifting her ass from the floor to roll her hips as her other hand ran down her body. She brought one hand out and swirled her wrist and brought her index finger out to do a come-hither motion.

Adrien grabbed a euro and went to place it in her hand, but she shook her finger at him and swing her legs around to touch her lower back, raised her heels in the air, and clacked her platform stilettos together with a sharp sound. He blushed as she rolled forward into splits before slowly bringing her knees under her to sit up. She rolled her body and took his wrist, making him drag the euro down the valley of her breasts to her black panties. He curled the euro beneath the band, and she blew him a kiss, bouncing against the stage like she was fucking someone before getting up to run her hands up along her ass and smacked it before going back to swinging around the pole.

Adrien shook his head and laughed as he watched her dance around the pole, body rolling at the top against it. Suddenly, a hand grabbed the back of his jeans and yanked him back. He stumbled and peered over his shoulder to see the stripper in red again.

“Looks like it’s your lucky night, pretty boy. Your friends over there paid for a VIP room for you.” She winked at him and Adrien peered over at Nino and shook his head with a laugh.

“Alright, take me away.” Adrien shrugged and she grabbed one side of his open shirt and led him towards the VIP section.

“As you wish.” She winked at him and shoved a red velvet curtain aside. She closed it and grabbed his biceps to swing him around and shoved him onto the black leather couch in the room.

He fell with his elbows resting on the back of the couch and his thighs spread as she put on a song. She smiled and walked up to the pole in the room, spinning around it and bringing her heels up to roll her body against the metal pole. She spun around it and landed on the ground in a front split. His eyebrows raised as she bounced and swung her legs around to get up onto her hands and knees.

She began to crawl towards him with a hungry gaze and ran her hands up his jeans to grip his thighs. She popped each hip to the beats in the song and suddenly spread his legs more. Adrien cleared his throat and she got onto his lap, running her hands along his shoulders and sinking her fingers into his golden hair to yank his head back.

“Enjoying your night? I heard you’re getting married tomorrow.” She smirked and threw his head to the side.

“Yeah, I am.” Adrien lowered his lashes as she rolled her hips against his lap.

She placed his hands on her hips and rolled them more, bouncing a few times before circling them for him. She leaned back and took his hands from her body and he grabbed the rest of his euros to tuck into her lingerie.

“Shame she wasn’t here to see how her fiancé is looking at another woman with such lust in his eyes.” She winked at him and stood up on the couch, making him eyelevel with her pussy.

“Mmm… too bad. I’m sure she would have loved to see this.” Adrien smirked as his gaze caught fire.

“Would she now?” She sank her fingers into his hair and rolled her pussy against his face.

Adrien moaned and she giggled, crouching down to bounce on his lap. “I’m sure she’d get jealous, wouldn’t she?”

“Depends…” Adrien smirked and licked his lips.

“On what, pretty boy?” The girl winked at him and hopped onto her knees to bounce more.

Adrien ran his fingers beneath her chin and ran his hand to the back of her neck, pulling her close enough to whisper in her ear. “If she is aware that I know she’s right here in this room already.”

The girl shivered and rolled her hips against the bulge in his tight jeans. “And how do you know?”

“Because-” Adrien smirked and licked his lips close to her ear again. “-only one girl knows how I like a woman to ride.” He pushed her away, and she stared at him with blushing cheeks.

“How long have you known?” Marinette giggled and ran her hands along his shoulders.

“Since you walked up.” Adrien shrugged and ran his hands down to her hips, gripping them and making her move how he wanted.

“Really? The girls were betting you would be oblivious.” Marinette giggled and gasped as he lifted his hips to thrust against her pussy fast.

“Jesus, I’m almost thirty.” Adrien rolled his eyes and laughed. “I’d know your ass anywhere, bugaboo. I spent more than half my life watching it run across rooftops.”

Marinette giggled and got off his lap to spin around and run her hands down his body to his belt. She swayed her hips as she crouched down and undid the buckle. He sank lower in the seat, bringing a hand up to run his finger and thumb along the corner of his lips, as she undid the button and yanked the zipper open. He sprang free and she giggled, slowly licking up the underside of his throbbing cock before wrapping her mouth around the swollen tip. She bobbed her head and sucked, swiping her tongue along the underside before letting it go with a wet pop. She stood up and faced away from him, running her hands down her body to slip her thumbs beneath the waistband of her panties. She slowly bent forward, sliding her panties down her legs, and kicking them off.

He growled from behind her and flexed his cock, grabbing her hips and yanking her into his lap again. She gasped as his slick cock teased her lower back. He flexed it against her skin, and she grabbed his thighs to slowly ease herself down with a few short bounces. He groaned in time with her as he sank into her wet pussy.

She gasped as he wrapped her dark hair around his fist and yanked her back against him. Her head rested against his shoulder as she gripped his hip and rolled her hips against him.

“Bounce that sexy ass for me,” Adrien slowly licked up the side of her neck and whispered into her ear.

She shivered and began to bounce and circle her hips for him, moaning as he stretched her open and filled her. He swelled with each bounce and roll of her hips until he was panting, and she was screaming and coming undone on him. He slipped her thighs over his and spread her legs further apart. He ran his hand around her hips to shake his fingers on her clit, causing her to scream and cum again with his cock thrusting fast and hard within her.

He slowed down his hips and she caught her breath and he lifted her from his lap. She whimpered and he got up to throw her onto the couch. She grabbed the back, and he ran his hands down her thighs to spread her knees apart. He climbed up between them and entered her again, making her scream. Adrien chuckled and grabbed her hips, pulling one hand to smack the side of her ass. She gasped and giggled as he thrusted into her harder. The music hid the sounds coming from them.

Adrien got lost in her, leaning over her body to bite her shoulder as he got closer to the edge. He kissed up to her ear and whispered, “I’m going to fill you so much that everyone will know you’ve been claimed because it’ll be dripping down those gorgeous legs all night.”

Marinette whimpered and shivered as she felt his cock swell and begin to release within her in pulses with his loud moans in her ear. She panted and felt him pull out of her. She peered over her shoulder and watched him pick up her panties and bring them back to slip onto her tall heels.

She giggled and stood up, helping him put them on. She was lightheaded and dizzy from him and he caught her as she stumbled. He helped her sit down on the couch and held his hand out towards her.

“What?” Marinette raised an eyebrow at him.

“Heels, Mari.” Adrien wiggled his fingers at her.

Marinette rolled her eyes and reached down to undo her heels and took them off for him. “I was going to be fine.”

“Uh-huh and then tomorrow you tell me how bad you’re hurting on those feet.” Adrien softly laughed and picked on her.

“I would have been fine…” Marinette waved him away. “Although I do have ballet flats in the backroom.”

“I’ll grab them for you.” Adrien kissed her cheek and left out of the VIP room to find her shoes.

“That man is too good to me.” Marinette sighed and stood up, turning off the music.

Adrien returned a few minutes later with her clothes and shoes. “Come hang out.”

“Somehow I think there is more fun planned for me, but don’t get yourself into too much trouble, hot stuff.” Marinette touched his cheek and pat it before taking her things and getting dressed.

**All the songs playing lol: (Mostly all of them were given to me by Luna when I asked for dirty club songs XD)**

[ **Make it Hot by Major Lazer, Anitta, Diplo** ](https://youtu.be/8GIcodbY9fc)

[ **Bola Rebola by Tropkillaz, J Balvin, Anitta, Mc Zaac** ](https://youtu.be/Vy52v1v8B4o)

[ **Flores by Vitao and Luisa Sonza** ](https://youtu.be/meL5o_pmU_w)

[ **Boa Menina by Luisa Sonza** ](https://youtu.be/oGn9wIG2FDU)

[ **I Wanna Fuck You by Snoop Dogg and Akon** ](https://youtu.be/0v5NDyNjTzU)

[ **Bandida by Pabllo Vittar and POCAH** ](https://youtu.be/3PnxWzt-c6Q)

[ **Beautiful Mayhem by DeathbyRomy** ](https://youtu.be/HVY_zK65hik)


	29. Seed

Marinette looked at her period app on her phone, running through it several times and pacing in their bedroom. She walked from one side to the next, lost in thought. She kept counting days in her head and recounting, thinking that she was wrong. She had been so distracted with her wedding gown and everything else that she hadn’t even noticed she was a week late. 

“Everything okay? Alya is here with the girls.” Adrien knocked on the door with Emma.

“Yeah, yeah. Fine.” Marinette chewed on her fingers and made her phone go to sleep.

She ran to put on shoes and grabbed the garment bag with her wedding gown in it. She yanked the door open to a concerned Adrien.

“Are you sure? You look flushed like you have a fever.” Adrien raised a hand to place it against her forehead.

“I’m fine. Just nervous. You know how it is. Pre-wedding jitters.” Marinette giggled and reached up on her toes to kiss him on the cheek. “I cannot wait to marry you.” She touched his cheek and kissed him one more time before taking Emma’s hand to go out to her friends.

Adrien raised an eyebrow at her and shook his head, grabbing what he needed to get to his groomsmen. He smiled at Marinette and the girls as he joined his friends.

“See you at the venue.” Adrien gave Marinette one more hug and kiss before leaving with Nino.

“See you there.” Marinette waved after him and Alya leaned closer to her ear.

“What’s up with you, girl?” Alya smirked at her.

“I’m late.” Marinette fell onto the couch and Emma ran over to her.

“Maman isn’t late. The wedding hasn’t even started.” Emma pat her mom’s head.

“Late like…” Mylene raised her finger.

Marinette pulled her phone out and opened her period app and showed them the screen. “ _Late._ ”

Alya ripped the phone from her hand and stared at the screen. “Woman.”

“I didn’t notice. Come with me to buy a damn test.” Marinette whined and Rose squealed.

“I’m so excited for you both!” Rose jumped in place. Juleka hugged her and kissed her cheek.

“So, if you are what do you think Adrien will say?” Juleka hid in her dark hair.

Marinette sighed, “The man was ecstatic with Emma, I can only imagine his face.”

“Me?” Emma pointed to herself with a confused expression.

Marinette warmly smiled and grabbed Emma to place her in her lap. “Yes, you.”

“Baby Emma?” Emma peered at her mother and Marinette giggled with a nod.

“Yep, when you were a baby, your daddy got so excited when he found out we were expecting you.” Marinette kissed her head and sighed. “Let’s go.”

“I can’t believe we’re doing this the morning of your damn wedding.” Alya burst out laughing.

“Look, I didn’t choose when I’d be late.” Marinette shook her keys at Alya and she laughed harder.

“Alright, come on girls!” Mylene waved for them all to follow her.

“I’m still confused, maman. What test?” Emma held Marinette’s hand and peered up at her with a curious expression.

Marinette crouched down and smiled at her, brushing her hand along her cheek. “Well, you might be getting a brother or sister, kitten.”

Emma gasped and became excited. “Me? A big sister?”

“Maybe, we don’t know yet and we especially won’t know by hanging out here. So, let’s go!’ Alya held the door and waved her hand across to make Marinette move faster. “I still have to get you to the damn venue to have your makeup and hair done. And then into a damn gown.”

*******

Marinette drove through Paris and headed to the venue that was in smaller city outside of their current one. It was a place that Adrien had been looking at and they had been wanting to possibly move to. Quiet and lovely. She parked in front of a small shop and they all got out.

She grabbed the best red line test she could find, and they all took it to the counter to pay for it. Once she paid, they took it back to the apartment because she had decided it would be better than to stop somewhere on the way. Marinette ran to their bathroom and took the test.

The girls waited in her bedroom for her to come out. Everyone sat on the bed and Marinette came out with the test in her hands. She set it on the nightstand and sat down between Alya and Emma. She chewed on her fingers and wiggled her legs, nervous to see what the result would be.

“What happens if it’s positive?” Juleka swallowed hard and looked around at all the girls.

“Then we’re having a baby,” Rose giggled.

“How are you going to tell him? Are you going to wait?” Mylene looked at Marinette.

“No, I’ll give him a gift to tell him during photos.” Marinette sighed. “I’m not going to wait. He deserves to know as soon as I do.”

The girls nodded and Marinette’s phone alarm went off. “It’s done. I can’t look.”

Emma got up and snatched it, looking it over. “What’s two lines mean?”

“What?” Marinette yanked the test from her daughter and looked at the two thick red lines.

She covered her lips and tears fell from her eyes. Alya took the test from her and passed it around.

“Well, shit.” Alya laughed, “Looks like you’re going to be giving golden boy a gift.”

Marinette looked at Emma. “Wanna make daddy something special?”

Emma’s eyes lit up. “Like what?”

“Draw him something that says he’s going to be a daddy again or that you’re going to be a big sister.” Marinette smiled and Emma ran off to make it.

Alya gathered all of the girls again to get into the car and head to the venue so that she could get them all ready for the wedding. Emma focused on her drawing during the car ride over there with her Ladybug and Chat Noir dolls in her lap.


	30. Ambiguity

Marinette walked out of the double doors with a box in her hands and Adrien slowly peered up to look at her. She watched as a smile slowly crept onto his lips. His gaze ran up and down her body and he walked towards her in his grey suit. She smiled and did a little spin for him.

Her dress flared out around her feet and he caught her. “You look absolutely stunning.”

He took her hand and spun her around again and she giggled. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

“Oh well thank you.” He ran his hand down his emerald tie and smirked, “My soon to be wife made it.”

Marinette rolled her eyes and giggled. “I have something for you.”

“Oh?” Adrien peered down at the box in her hands. “What is it?”

“Now, if I told you would it be a surprise?” Marinette giggled and fixed his tie.

The photographer ran around them to take photos after Alya asked him to. Adrien slowly pulled the ribbon from the box and lifted the lid. He peered inside and took out the folded piece of paper. Marinette chewed on her nails, anxious about what he would say to it.

“Open it.” Marinette giggled and he unfolded the paper.

He peered at a drawing of Emma, Marinette, and him. But there was something different. In his arms was a baby bundled in a blanket.

“Are you?” Adrien suddenly shot a glance up at Marinette.

Marinette smiled and tears fell from her eyes as she giggled uncontrollably and nodded.

“Oh my god!” Adrien dropped the box and ran to pick her up, spinning her around. “Did- when? WHAT?!”

Marinette giggled, “I just found out this morning.”

He set her down and one of the other girls handed him the test. He flipped it over and looked at the thick lines on it.

“Mari!” Adrien’s eyes sparkled and he raised a hand up to wipe the tears from beneath his eyes. “Oh my God. Did Emma draw this?”

“She did, on the way here,” Marinette giggled and sniffed.

Rose ran over with a tissue to try and save her makeup. Marinette thanked her and Adrien turned around as Emma ran towards him.

“Daddy…..” Emma screamed and he caught her.

“Thank you, kitten.” Adrien kissed her all over and hugged her.

“I’m gonna be a big sister! Did you like my picture? I tried really hard on it. See!” Emma began to point to each person. ‘That’s me! And that’s maman! And that’s you! And that’s… my sister or brother!”

“I see that. I love it.” Adrien brushed her styled golden hair behind her ear. “You’re going to make the _best_ big sister.” He kissed the side of her head as the camera flashed around them.

*******

Adrien sat at the reception table beside Marinette. He held her hand and rubbed the back of her knuckles as their best friend’s gave their speeches. They laughed and cried as they busted jokes and bittersweet moments. Adrien had never felt happier, and his heart was fuller than ever before.

When it was time to dance, he stood up and held his hand out for hers. She smiled and took his hand, letting him lead her to the dance floor. He placed one hand on her waist and the other in his, taking her around the dance floor like they had under the moonlight with Emma. Marinette blushed and rested her cheek against his chest, as he guided her. She nearly tripped on his shoe and he softly laughed, pulling away to catch her and spin her out and back into his arms.

Marinette giggled and let him take her around the room again, “I waited my whole life to marry you.”

“And I you, m’ lady.” Adrien winked at her before sending her into a spin again. He brought her back into his arms and gently touched her stomach, peering down at it, “And you were the best third surprise to ever happen to me.”

Marinette giggled, “What was the second?”

“Emma.” Adrien leaned down to brush his lips against Marinette’s and she placed her hands over his.

“And the first?” Marinette peered at her husband through her dark lashes.

“You.” Adrien warmly smiled and kissed her again.

They spent the rest of the night, spending time with family and friends. The night was full of laughs, tears, and complete and utter joy. Marinette and Adrien had never been happier other than when Emma had been brought into the world.

Adrien raised up his champagne fluke at the end of the reception, standing up from his seat and tapping the edge with a spoon to grab everyone’s attention. “Ladies and gentlemen, it’s been a very emotional day. Even the cake is in tiers.”

Marinette gasped and smacked him in the hip, causing him to laugh and wink at her. “Such a dork.”

“It’s been a lovely night. Thank you all for the wonderful gifts, kind words, and even better company. We couldn’t be happier getting to spend this day with you all.” Adrien smiled and the room clapped and yelled about how much they loved them.

Everyone toasted and before long Marinette and Adrien were being led to their car. Marinette gasped as everyone released ladybugs into the air from boxes as they walked through the line of friends and family. She giggled and Adrien took her hand, running with her to the car.

Chloe had agreed to watch Emma first out of everyone while they went on their honeymoon to Hawaii. Adrien opened the door for Marinette, and she climbed in.

“Airport?” Marinette raised an eyebrow at him.

“Not tonight.” Adrien kissed her cheek and closed the door.

He ran around the car and got into the driver’s seat. She peered at him with a curious expression. He softly laughed and touched her chin to kiss her.

“I got a luxury suite for tonight. We fly out tomorrow at noon.” Adrien kissed her one more time and she blushed.

“I don’t deserve you.” Marinette sighed as she felt more in love with him than ever before.

“I should be saying that to you, my wife.” Adrien smiled and started the car.

“My husband,” Marinette sighed the words past her lips. It was two little words she had always dreamed of saying to him and now she could officially say them.


	31. Beginnings

Adrien sat in his home office, looking over the photos that he had taken while modeling her clothing line. He smiled at them and ran his thumb along the edge of the photo. He never thought he would model again, but there he was. He gazed at his eyes and how happy he seemed in the photos, happier than he had ever been. For once, the smile within them was not fake. It wasn’t placed there to make his father proud.

He picked up his pen and continued to write within his journal with a bittersweet smile.

* * *

_And so, we moved. We moved to the small city that I had always dreamed of living in. One that was quiet and nice, far from the past and my father. Far from everything that hurt. I still see Luka for therapy, do my stretches, and continue to practice to become even stronger. Emma always is there to cheer me on and try them with me, which is the cutest damn thing._

_Marinette is nine months pregnant now with little Hugo. It’s only a matter of time before we have two kids running around. To say I’m excited would be an understatement, I’m beyond thrilled. I can’t wait to welcome him into the world. And-_

* * *

“Adrien,” Marinette screamed from downstairs and he dropped everything and ran out of the room.

“What is it,” Adrien yelled back, nearly tripping down the stairs as he took them two at a time.

He found her in the kitchen, holding her stomach and trying to remember her breathing exercises. “Oh shit. Let’s go. I’ll get Emma packed up to go to your parents’ and-”

“No, no time.” Marinette suddenly groaned and gripped the counter as she bent over. “ _Fuck, fuck, fuck.”_

“What is with our babies having no patience?” Adrien burst out laughing and heard her giggle as she caught her breath.

“They’re impatient, like their father!” Marinette suddenly yelled at the end, groaning as another contraction hit. “Bed, couch, I don’t give a shit. _Help_.”

“Hang on, bugaboo.” Adrien lifted her and carried her to their bedroom.

He laid her down on the bed and ran off to put a movie on for Emma. He kissed her on the head and told her that everything would be okay.

He pulled his phone out on the way to their bedroom to notify her midwife of what was happening. She told him that she would be on her way shortly and relayed what he should do. Adrien had told her he was going to unlock the door for her and hung up and ran to Marinette.

She was on the bed with her hands on her stomach and trying to breathe. “Is Emma okay?”

“She’s fine. I have her watching a movie. I called the midwife. She’s headed over.” Adrien grabbed more pillows and gently shoved them behind Marinette to make her sit up more.

Marinette suddenly stopped breathing and groaned as another one hit. “I have to- He’s not waiting.” She slammed her hand down on the bed to grip it.

“Okay.” Adrien rolled up the sleeves of his sweater and got on the bed, between her thighs, to yank off her leggings and panties. “We’re doing this then.”

“I can- I can wait…” Marinette screamed again, and Adrien grabbed her knees.

“Honey, if Hugo is gonna come now, he’s gonna come now. I got you. You got me for years. It’s my turn.” He kissed her knee and gently brought her legs up to help support her as she reached down to grab the back of her thighs with trembling hands.

“No, no, no. Not here. I wanted- I wanted this to be like Emma. We had a birth plan, and this wasn’t it!” Marinette burst out into tears.

“I know, but the midwife will be here soon, and it’ll all be okay.” Adrien smiled and took her hand, gripping it. “It’ll be okay. Now, be the amazing wonder bug I know and breathe with me.”

It didn’t take her long to breathe and push their son into the world. Didn’t take long for Hugo to be in Adrien’s waiting arms and covered in a throw that was draped over the bed that Marinette had knitted with love. Didn’t take long for her midwife to make it right as she was delivering the afterbirth with baby Hugo on her chest and in her arms.

Adrien had let the midwife take over as he sat beside Marinette and placed his index finger into Hugo’s tiny hand.

“You did it. I knew you could.” He leaned over to kiss her damp temple.

“Only because you were here pushing me through it.” Marinette weakly smiled up at him and he kissed her.

“And you... are one impatient kitten.” Adrien teased Hugo as the midwife finished up everything.

“Are any of them?” Marinette raised an eyebrow at him as the blanket was thrown over her and Hugo was taken to be cleaned up.

The midwife brought him back over with a warm smile and Marinette took him into her arms again for skin-to-skin contact.

“I suppose you’re right.” Adrien laughed and groaned as Emma jumped onto the bed to see her baby brother once she was let inside.

“Hugo!” Emma crawled over Adrien and giggled, kissing her new brother on the head.

“Careful.” Adrien held Emma back from climbing onto Marinette.

“I can’t wait to play with you and show you all my toys and-” Emma went on and on.

Marinette rolled her eyes and giggled as their daughter told Hugo all of her magical plans.

“You did amazing, love bug.” Adrien leaned over to kiss Marinette one more time.

“So, did you. Thank you.” Marinette kissed him again. “You’re turn, daddy.”

Marinette passed him Hugo as Emma moved to cuddle with her mother. Adrien removed his sweater to sit with him on his bare chest. He softly smiled and realized that this was what he always needed and wanted. A happy family to call his own.


	32. Playlist as always lol

[ **Little Do You Know by Alex & Sierra (Basically the song to sum up the whole fic)** ](https://youtu.be/4bzIpYiPUUo)

[ **Leave Me Here by Hem** ](https://youtu.be/N3QT0SLi03Y)

[ **Knees by Bebe Rexha** ](https://youtu.be/3dP6pyWe30Y)

[ **Couple of Kids by Maggie Lindemann** ](https://youtu.be/OADtm1NWF7s)

[ **I Love You by Alex & Sierra** ](https://youtu.be/Mm_BRG1PJNQ)

[ **Bumper Cars by Alex & Sierra** ](https://youtu.be/8z3GMSulaiU)

[ **Who You Are cover by Kurt Hugo Schneider and Anna Clendening** ](https://youtu.be/e6x4J2GEIHA)

[ **You Don't Know by Katelyn Tarver** ](https://youtu.be/BF-nZziUCCY)

[ **River of Tears by Alessia Cara** ](https://youtu.be/4b2M5K7sbc0)

[ **Let You Down by NF** ](https://youtu.be/0501BTnbrxg)

[ **Could I Love You Any More by Renee Dominique ft. Jason Mraz** ](https://youtu.be/6oQ5AXLCk-U)

[ **Unsteady covered by Kurt Hugo Schneider and Marilyn Bailey** ](https://youtu.be/MklKTJ5JoKg)

[ **I Think He Knows by Taylor Swift** ](https://youtu.be/2d1wKn-oJnA)

**[Paper Rings by Taylor Swift](https://youtu.be/8zdg-pDF10g) (this song always makes me think of my husband lol I won't lie.)**

[ **Harder by Jax Jones ft. Bebe Rexha** ](https://youtu.be/fM7_jMD8EIM)

[ **Consequences by Camila Cabello** ](https://youtu.be/k73EBmeJ950)

[ **Run to You by Lea Michele** ](https://youtu.be/D2C96iZHObk)

[ **DNA by Lia Marie Johnson** ](https://youtu.be/4Y7pRYhvOBU)

[ **Us by Clara Mae** ](https://youtu.be/qV12oc_zFWM)

[ **Easy by Camila Cabello** ](https://youtu.be/X95tylIxAoc)

[ **Ruin My Life by Zara Larsson** ](https://youtu.be/gH-pFHhr7Nc)

[ **Marry You by Bruno Mars** ](https://youtu.be/dElRVQFqj-k)

[ **Beautiful Mayhem by DeathbyRomy** ](https://youtu.be/HVY_zK65hik)

[ **I Wanna Fuck You by Snoop Dogg and Akon** ](https://youtu.be/0v5NDyNjTzU)

[ **Make It Hot by Major Lazer, Anitta, and Diplo** ](https://youtu.be/8GIcodbY9fc)

[ **Bola Rebola by Tropkillaz, J Blavin, Anitta, and Mc Zaac** ](https://youtu.be/Vy52v1v8B4o)

[ **Flores by Vitao and Luisa Sonza** ](https://youtu.be/meL5o_pmU_w)

[ **Boa Menina by Luisa Sonza** ](https://youtu.be/oGn9wIG2FDU)

[ **Bandida by Pabllo Vittar and POCAH** ](https://youtu.be/3PnxWzt-c6Q)


End file.
